After the flu and protracted anxiety, my neck and ribs were FUBAR. I mean, totally FUBAR. As in, I couldn’t turn my head far enough to change lanes while driving the Jeep.

Yesterday I drove to town and went to see Dr. Crossland. I’d taken Brett there before, but had never been myself. It was AWESOME!

I walked in the door, the lobby was empty, and the good doctor himself was in the office. He had me fill out a little card and took me straight back. No waiting!

The exam room had a chair, a table, and a… contraption. I sat first in the chair, and he discovered my many misalignments by gently poking and prodding with his thumbs. Then onto the contraption I went. It was a tilting chiropractic table – you’d walk up to it, lean forward and put your arms on a couple of rests, and then the whole thing would tilt down. (It felt cool, there was some mild low back stretch from the tilt. I dug it.)

The doc was an old guy, white haired and bright eyed, and you could tell he’d been doing this forEVER. He was totally comfortable, assured, and thorough. I’d only ever been to one chiropractor in my life – the wonderful and flaky Dr. Deb Peters – so I’d never been crunched before, and after every loud noise I steeled myself for it to hurt… but it never did! The man made my back, neck, and hips make THE most insane crunching noises but it felt great!

Honestly, I had no idea. I’m the kind of person who will walk away from people who crack their knuckles or necks – I hate it. Ewh!

But this guy was amazing. After a few minutes on the contraption, he put me on the other table, where I had my lower back popped through some wonderful contortion involving the patient on her side with the upper leg bent, and the good doctor pulling the hip and pushing the shoulder. Yum!

Then back to the contraption to get my back and hips pushed on, then back in the chair for some neck release, then back on the contraption to learn that my legs were now the same length again. The man’s neck un-fucking procedure was freaky: he just took hold of my head, twisted and pulled! And it did not hurt! It sounded totally freaky, but when he was done I could feel blood rushing back into my shoulder muscles for the first time in probably two or three weeks.!

THE MAN IS AWESOME. He showed me a few stretches to do, told me that my bronchia and sinuses might let loose a little after the adjustment, and then only charged me 36 bucks!

He was right, too – last night I coughed pretty determinedly for about an hour after dinner, and I think I pretty much got up the remaining flu garbage that had been stuck in there. (My ribs were all crooked and I guess I hadn’t been able to produce a decent cough.) I love Dr. Crossland! Yay!

 

7 Responses to Bone Cruncher

  1. m-i-l says:

    See once again M-I-L was right! Crossland makes you leaving like you are walking on a cloud! Glad you went. Much love

  2. m-i-l says:

    oops, can’t type! or can’t spell

  3. Mush says:

    You are SO ALWAYS AND FOREVER RIGHT!!!

  4. Bucket says:

    Crossland is, as the kids say, the bomb/dope/phat/all that.

    If you’re feeling REALLY ambitious, and want to know what some SERIOUS cracking sounds and feels like, try Dr. Hunt. Dude’s a masochist, methinks…

  5. Mush says:

    …you mean sadist?

  6. Buzz says:

    Yeah well it’s always good to know there’s another decent chiro around. I’m not going back to the one I’ve had for the last few years since I was snooping around on the Iowa Sex Offender registry for the hell of it and found out he likes little boys. Well maybe it’d be better for me than if he liked big boys …

  7. Mush says:

    Buzz, I just can’t get over the idea that YOUR CHIROPRACTOR IS A PERVERT.

    ROFLMAO!!!!!!

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