In which there’s a first time.

Okay, like basically everyone on earth, I’ve heard of scones with clotted cream, but I’ve never had it because I’m American and the only time I’ve ever set foot in a fancy tea room was as a performer and not a patron.

Last week one of my co-workers told me there was some expired heavy cream if I wanted some, so I brought home a half gallon of heavy cream and stuck it in my fridge.

It occurred to me to make clotted cream, so I read up on how and did it: a dish full of cream in a 170F oven for twelve hours.

after nine hours

It was still fully liquid when I took it out of the oven and put it in the fridge, and I thought it hadn’t worked, but it set up as it cooled. The next day there were solids floating in the top half of the dish!

I started with slightly over half the half-gallon container of heavy cream, and ended up with a pint of clotted cream.

one pint half and half, one pint clotted cream

The leftover “whey” is fine in coffee. I read so many recipes I don’t remember now where I learned that, but I’m glad I did or I might have just poured out the non-clotted stuff!

I spent my entire weekend sick in bed, which sucked, but at least leaving something in the oven and then in the fridge was the right speed.

Today I made scones. I read a bunch of recipes, finally picked one I liked, and did it. Made a big old mess of the kitchen counter, and didn’t get the height I wanted, but they taste nice.

a scone! with clotted cream!

The point, I now believe, of clotted cream is that fat is filling and keeps your otherwise completely silly tea sandwich from making you hangry in half an hour after all the sugars burn off.

It’s also delicious! I ate two!