Category Archives: Health

Saturday

In which I was just sick a couple weeks ago! Unfair!

Friday there was some sneezing. Apparently that’s the tell now: if I sneeze more than once in a day I’ve probably been  exposed to germs.

Saturday afternoon at work I started to feel pretty rotty, and by the time I got home I was definitely Coming Down With Something.

Now it’s Monday and I still feel gross and I’m mad at whoever it was that decided to come into my workplace and FUCKING BREATHE AROUND ME. I don’t want to be sick! This is my weekend, I want to get chores out of the way and feel good and read library books and drink adult beverages! I do not want to sit on the couch like a zombie staring at the television! I do not want to spend sixty percent of my weekend asleep! God damn it!

Just the usual crud: congestion, cough, aches. I haven’t even taken a Covid test, because at this point I don’t really want to know that the people who make up the society I live in don’t “believe in” vaccines and are basically out there spreading disease more or less on purpose.

Going to work when you’re sick is stupid. Being sick is uncomfortable at best, and can kill you at worst. To stop from spreading most disease, just stay the fuck home when you’re sick, or if you must go out, wear a goddamned mask!

Some bastard got me sick and I hope they have a permanent itch somewhere for the rest of their life.

Massage

In which I had a massage appointment today!

About a year ago, a couple of women set up their massage practices in a building a few doors down from where I work and promptly started coming in for lunch enough that I met them, and eventually I booked an appointment with one of them and have been going every month or three since.

I don’t know exactly what the style she does is called, but it’s some variation on deep tissue. She’s Thai, so odds are non-zero it’s sen line work. Let’s just say it hurts, but a lot less than that German one that requires a dozen appointments where they dig their thumbs into your body like you’re being interrogated.

Anyway, as I was lying there experiencing the touch and subjective feelings of nurturing and care of a massage, it occurred to me that a lot of people have never had a professional massage in their entire lives, let alone enough of them to have opinions about the various styles, and I felt really kind of sad about it. Getting a massage is, well, good for you. Not to sound like a “wellness” peddler, because I’m not, but it truly is a net benefit to get body work even if you’re not particularly injured.

The first time is a little nervous-making, because you’re doing stuff you just never do in the course of your regular life: undressing in a strange room, lying naked under a sheet while a stranger rubs you, experiencing all the endorphins that you have, until now, only ever experienced in the presence of your intimates: people like your mom, or your child, or your very nearest and dear-ests. And it does take a few sessions with each new therapist until you can just lie there and take it without worrying about reciprocity, farting, or sweating on the sheets.

But OH MY FUCKING GOD, IS IT WORTH IT, and for a whole list of reasons. Continue reading Massage

Time isn’t working correctly?

In which I decided to blog. So here’s a blog post! Enjoy! It will not be interesting.

My contact lenses showed up a few days ago, so I’ve just sat down to fill out the rebate. (The only reason I ordered this new brand of contacts was that the optometrist’s office told me they’d be cheaper — $280 for a full year of lenses versus $312 — but I’d have to complete a rebate. But it’s easy now, because it’s online!)

The rebate form is, in essence, a data scraper: you have to upload your purchase receipt, the barcode off the product itself, and your doctor’s invoice showing the date of your last exam. I mean, I realize Google knows far more about me than Alcon now does, but honestly the receipt itself should be ample proof that you both got an exam and bought lenses?!

ANYWAY, the point of all this is that my exam, which I swear I just had, was actually on 22 November?!? Three months ago already?

WTF, time?


I’ve decided that I made a mistake painting the kitchen flat pale yellow, and now I think I’m going to re-paint it gloss white.

And maybe do a subway tile backsplash. Because I like subway tile, for some reason?

The rest of the house is really colorful anyway, perhaps too much so if I’m honest, so I think a white and wood kitchen would be just fine. And most of my stuff is blue and white anyway, and the appliances are white, and the countertops are white. So why not.

Also I’m starting to hate all the mismatched ceiling lights in my kitchen. They were amusing for a year, but now? Maybe living in the lighting section of a Lowe’s isn’t as funny as I’d originally thought? Over the sink is a ‘modern’ brushed nickel triple halogen light, the 90’s behemoth in the middle of the ceiling is gold and white with ash fan blades, and the dining table one is floral and brushed bronze from the 80’s! None of the fucking things have anything in common beyond all being ceiling lights!

I am probably too cheap to replace two perfectly functional ceiling lights just because I don’t like the way they look. But it’s my house, and I can bitch about it all I like! They look fucking terrible!


I’m on a diet.

Logging everything you eat is a fucking pain in the ass (unless all you’re eating is pre-prepared stuff with barcodes you can scan). I just ate a meal the way I normally do, and it took nearly as long to log it as it took to eat it: homemade man’ouche, labneh, a few red grapes, a few smokehouse almonds, a radish. A cup of tea with cream.

A fuckton of data entry for 359 calories.

Dieting is bullshit and I hate it, but I’m old now and the weight won’t stop piling on so I’m going to starve myself for a few months, WHAT FUCKING FUN, even though dieting doesn’t work and the results are never permanent.

Mostly what’s happening is that I sleep a lot, because you’re not thinking about food (or going out for empty calories in the form of cocktails) when you’re asleep. And I watched so much video during the Covid years that zoning out in front of the TV doesn’t really work the way it used to, sadly.


We still have leftover Christmas money (my aunt is insanely generous with cash gifts), so I splurged on something decadent that I’ve always wanted: a genuine Pendleton blanket!

Should be here next week. I love wool! It was on sale at about 60% off, somehow, so I also got a set of plaid mugs (what. we only have four mugs, or maybe six? MUGS ARE USEFUL, OK) and a scarf that were also in the online version of the discount bin. Very excited to own a Pendleton.


Are modern glasses more prone to dirt, or did I just always walk around with filthy lenses in the past?

My last couple pairs of glasses are forever greasy and smudged and impossible to see through; I’m cleaning them at least once per day, usually more.

Is it the coating? Or that they’re plastic now? Or both?

Thanks, I hate it!


I need to prune the rose bushes.

I have the right kind of shears, and I know to sanitize them. I’ve read several articles and watched a few YouTube videos. I feel that I could prune them with relative competence. Should have done the one out front today, but I was enjoying puttering around inside in the warm and wasn’t feeling motivated enough to put on more clothes and go outside.

Still utterly overwhelmed by the enormous size of the backyard and all the time, labor, and money it will take to turn it into something pleasant. I’m not a yard work person. I just want it to be 50% anything-other-than-lawn and be pretty without having to spend four thousand hours and twice as many dollars out there.

What feels weird is being a 50-something woman who says things like “I need to prune the rose bushes,” let alone “I’m starting to hate all the mismatched ceiling lights in my kitchen.” How the fuck did I turn into this person?

I’m old enough to be somebody’s g’ma. What a riot.

I had oral surgery and I didn’t like it very much

In which I’ve had a BONE GRAFT!

Friday I went to the endodontist and had a bone graft. Local only, no sedation. I’ve had four (wisdom) teeth extracted and two root canals, and I’m not dental procedure-averse, but this surgery was pretty rough.

He numbed me thoroughly, so nothing hurt, but one is still aware of what’s being done. It’s stressful knowing the doctor’s taking a scalpel to your gums! And having a tooth root cleaned under the gumline with a sonic is dismal. Don’t even get me started on the sutures, ye GODS.

I got three prescriptions: an antibiotic, some generic Vicodin, and a twice-daily rinse.

Apparently my wisdom tooth extraction left a pocket of bacteria that have destroyed some of my jaw bone, so this procedure cleared out the area, removed calculus from the tooth’s root, and added cadaver bone as a sort of scaffold for my own bone cells to use.

The first 48 hours post-surgery were a little rough because of swelling, but not particularly painful. I made a batch of gruel of brown rice and chora dal (it came out really good!) and drank a lot of cool water. Ice pack on the face for 20 minutes each hour. Slept on the opposite side. Napped.

Today’s day five, and it feels fine. I made the mistake of looking in there, though, and it looks gross and the suture ends are sort of wound around my teeth in a weird but ultimately probably very clever way.

I go in next Tuesday to get my stitches out!

If, God forfend, I ever have to do this shit again, I’m getting sedation. Root canals are fine, but having my gums sliced and flapped over while fully awake is a bit too much for me.

Dentist.

In which I have to spend money on surgery.

Went to the periodontist last week and I need about $3k (initially) worth of surgery, including a bone graft, to help keep my teeth in my head.

Periodontal disease is bullshit. It’s basically bacteria eating your jawbones. Super fun. I used to feel so superior about never having cavities, but now I’d like to trade. A bunch of cavities would be much better than this bullshit!

Can I just fill the Waterpik with, like, something that will keep fucking bacteria out of my sockets?!

CADAVER BONE GRAFT, PEOPLE.

I’m not afraid of the surgery itself, I just don’t want to spend my savings on it and I don’t (think) I have insurance that will help.

And after the surgery, I apparently will want an additional procedure to help me not grind my back teeth out and an “appliance” to wear at night to stop the damage from bruxism.

Honestly wish I knew how long I’m going to live; it would be good information to help one decide how much to spend on keeping one’s teeth in one’s head. If I’m gonna die in a decade, I’ll spend the money on something else. If I’m gonna live ’til 80, well obviously stopping jawbone loss is a good investment.

Oh, he also thinks I’ll lose my most expensive possession, my root canal and crown. There’s bone damage so he thinks it’ll fall out somewhere between 5 and 10 years. So that’s exciting. Not.

Pandemic Money

In which saving teeth is far from cheap.

The pandemic started and I kept getting money. Not complaining, but it was a bit baffling: the stimulus check, then two aunts and an uncle sent cash, bless them, and then a Minnesota tax refund I’d forgotten about filing for appeared. All told, a few grand.

And then I went to the dentist and figured out what the windfall was for.

I spent about $400 on x-rays, an exam, and n really intense cleaning, then another $1,400 at the periodontist on saving an old root canal, and tomorrow another couple hundred getting the crown fixed.

Next month, another grand at the endodontist saving yet another tooth.

And after that, all my surprise pandemic money will be spent! I’m glad I could afford all this as otherwise I probably would have had two teeth pulled, and I guess having teeth is better than not having them.

Uncontrolled spread

In which too many are not, for a variety of reasons I won’t get into, taking this shit seriously.

Half the customers in the cheese shop these past few weeks have been tourists. White people on vacation to wine country, visiting tasting rooms, hotels, restaurants, and my place of work in sleepy little rural Oregon, for the purpose of “stimulating the economy” and getting drunk and, possibly, spreading a killing, maiming disease to a bunch of service workers who have no choice but to show up at work and pull a paycheck to make those ends meet.

Mask-wearing in my shop in general is now over 90%, but I had a customer last week whose mask was, I shit you not, beaded, and made of sheer, lavender gauze. Decorative, but completely useless. An agree-to-comply-but-don’t-comply fuck you to everyone with whom the damn woman comes into contact. Including me.

Fuck her. Seriously. And everyone like her.

I smoked for 31 years. So I’m not eligible for a lung transplant, you ignorant bitch. Enjoy your non-essential impulse buys!

I don’t blame people who go to work sick because they have to, but nobody has to bring six fucking people into a goddamned cheese shop in BFE wearing a useless mask. That’s just being an ignorant, selfish, childish asshole.

Look at this goddamned map; click through and read:

The majority of the nation is in “uncontrolled spread” of Covid-19. Let me state that you do NOT “need” to:

– go to fuckin’ Disney
– go to large parties (sorry about your enormous wedding, but shit happens)
– come to my county as a fucking tourist during a pandemic
– fly somewhere just for fun
– get your hair or nails done
– hang out maskless in any public space (not even you drunk fucks smoking outside the Elks)
– go to games or concerts.

FFS, you need to stay HOME except for essential activities. Groceries, health care, funerals maybe. Essential work. Not vacations and shopping and dining out.

Shut shit down, send the “menial” (but SO essential) low-paid, high-risk service workers home, and give them money to live on. We can afford it. Mail the fucking checks, every month. Meanwhile, institute contact tracing and rapid testing and all the shit we failed, stupidly, to do the first goddamned time.

ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY FOUR THOUSAND DEAD HUMAN BEINGS in this country, you absolute shitheads. If we put all those dead bodies in coffins and stacked them up, it would be a cube 3.24 miles per side. Imagine a cube more than three miles per side in the center of your city: THOSE ARE OUR COVID DEAD.

My county, Umatilla, has been shut back down to baseline as of tomorrow at noon because we’re at 234.4 cases per 10,000 people:

It’s not just live or die with this virus. Those who live are, evidence is beginning to show, often very fucked up. There are people who may never breathe properly again. I saw several who presented two months after getting over a mild case only to die in the hospital of sudden cardiac arrest. Victims report exhaustion and weakness and fatigue for months and months.

There are people who had mild or asymptomatic versions of this disease in March who are now presenting with lung damage and blood clots. There have already been lung transplants and amputations and heart failure.

This thing’s been here for barely half a year, we know very little about it. It’s not the fucking flu; the flu doesn’t turn your blood to sludge and ruin your heart and lungs like this shit does.

Stay home as much as you can. Wear a mask when you can’t, and wash your FUCKING hands.

I don’t know how to convince you to care about other people.

Root Canal Revisited

In which THERE WAS AN EXPENSIVE DENTAL PROCEDURE.

Last week, on a whim, I called the dentist across the street from the one that keeps postphoning my appointments, and they got me in TWO HOURS LATER. This place doesn’t take my insurance, but my insurance doesn’t cover most of what I need anyway, so what the hell.

They took tons of images and then the hygienist went to town on my teeth. (My whole mouth hurt for hours that evening.) The doctor told me my root canal and the tooth below it both have issues, and gave me two referrals to specialists.

Went to an endodontist today and he put a bunch of drills, soldering irons, and glue guns into my mouth over the period of an hour or so.

I got three shots of local, which, of course, felt weird as hell for hours, and then a lot of drilling and weird sensations, noises, and smells. The local made me (I think?) feel really gacked for about 40 minutes. (It could have been anxiety, but I didn’t feel particularly anxious as much as like I’d done a rail of mediocre coke.) The gacked feeling wore off after awhile, and in general there was discomfort but no real pain.

The staff were all excellent and the music was, I was informed, a station called something like “French Cooking.” I was relieved it was anything but a local country station.

The doctor asked me what was up with the roof of my mouth; there’s a big bruise or spot there. Not sure what it’s from, but I think I burned myself eating pizza while drunk last weekend? Who knows; my mouth is a bit of a mess.

I got the root canal originally nine or ten years ago and apparently a root was missed, so today the doctor dug it out and cleared the forth root.

It cost $1,700. (So that’s much of the stimulus and various checks from aunts and uncles I’ve gotten during Covid-19 gone.) I don’t know that I’ve ever paid seventeen hundred dollars for a single thing in my life; thank God I had it available.

I got a prescription for a week’s worth of antibiotics, but just realized now I forgot to go pick them up. Will have to do so tomorrow.

Have to go back to my regular dentist to get the crown finished; right now it’s just rough and weird-feeling. And after THAT I have to get ANOTHER tooth looked at by another specialist as there’s a pocket of infection that needs to come out. I’ve already spent two grand; by the time this is all ship shape I’ll be out four grand, probably.

I’d better live long enough to make keeping these teeth worth it!

All this was intended to help me KEEP my dental appointment, not lose it

In which I’m currently quarantined.

This entire post is tl;dr but I’m going to write it anyway because I’ve got nothing but time for the next 3 to 7 days.

Wednesday I woke up, felt fine, got dressed, packed up my stuff, and was making a sandwich to take to work when I had that sensation that means I’ll be needing a bit of time on the toilet, if you know what I mean, but I was also supposed to be leaving for work in minutes, so I texted everybody to let them know I’d be a bit late.

And it went downhill from there. Fast. Cramps, nausea, aches, chills, diarrhea. Two hours later I gave up hope and texted to say I wouldn’t be in. By mid-evening I felt fine, and the next day I went to work.

Thursday was a little low-energy, but otherwise perfectly normal. Didn’t think anything of it. Too many Del Taco burritos, too much wine, just normal weird gut behavior, who knows.

Friday I woke up at dawn feeling normal but annoyed, because waking up these days often means staying up and not getting back to sleep before having to go to work. Then I got a headache, but did manage to drift off, so thought it’d be gone by the time I had to get up for work.

It wasn’t gone. It was splitting, and I had aches and nausea too. But not that bad, really, so I got up and got dressed and packed my stuff and left for work.

And turned around two blocks later and came home and called out sick again because my fucking head was killing me and I honestly felt really gross.

When he got home he told me it sounded like Covid-19 and that he’d sleep in the living room. I checked the CDC site and lo: diarrhea and chills are now symptoms. I emailed work that I’d be out yet again, and that I’d call the doctor the next day (because that sounds like the responsible thing to do when you work in a food manufactory during a global pandemic). I slept even more.

Well, I have a dental appointment on Tuesday, and I REALLY WANT TO KEEP IT. I was going to make it back in March — even filled out all the paperwork — but there was the pandemic, see, so I didn’t actually make one until three weeks ago. But they’d fucked up somehow, so I didn’t get seen and they never called me to reschedule like they said they would so when I called them three days later the next open slot was Tuesday. So it’s an appointment three weeks in the making, and my mouth is a disaster and I WANT TO KEEP IT.

But I also know they’ll ask me if I’ve had any symptoms, and I have, so I decided to call the clinic and ask them if they thought I needed testing. Because I only have 5 symptoms on a list of 11, and none of them are fever or cough, I thought they’d say no, sounds like the crud, drink fluids, rest, etc etc.

But what she actually said was, “With those symptoms, I’d say you need to be tested for Covid-19.” And then she told me where to go to get tested, which is at the Fast-Track drive-through at Providence.

So I went.

And it took over half an hour but was otherwise relatively easy, and they gave me paperwork and told me I’m quarantined until I get my results… in three to seven days. I’m not cleared to work before then.

And I’m also NOT CLEARED TO TAKE MY DENTAL APPOINTMENT, and have to call and reschedule.

Today I’m not that sick, just fatigued (which honestly I think is related more to my gum disease than anything else) and intermittently nauseous and headachey. The diarrhea only lasted a day (though that’s certainly long enough), with maybe a reprise Friday morning but it’s hard to tell because I was much more concerned with the blinding headache.

My mouth, though: I have gum disease. I used to get prophy three or four times a year but I haven’t had a cleaning in over six years now, for various reasons, most of them laziness. (I did try to see dentists in Minneapolis, but it was always hard finding one I could get to easily, without busses or Ubers, and then the one I could bike to didn’t take my insurance and wanted me to pay cash, plus weather and work schedules and blah blah blah… I just haven’t been seen in too long.) Which is to say that there’s bacteria in my jaw bones now. They burrow town into your sockets and down the roots of your teeth and into your upper and lower jaw bones, and I know I’m there because I can feel it. I get intermittent gland swelling, too. I need goddamned planing & scaling and they’ll probably put me on antibiotics, too.

This is all gross, I know, but that’s the joy of being embodied, right?

Long story short, we need my test not to be positive, because if it is, it basically shuts the entire creamery down for ten days while everybody gets tested, and that would be awful, plus it’ll push my dental appointment back even further.

All I wanted was my fucking dental appointment! I don’t know why I’m sick and I don’t feel bad enough to really worry, it’s just the crap you get from time to time. I’ve been sick about every two months since we moved out here, and that’s always normal for me: move across the country, catch absolutely everything for the next 10-12 months. Happens every single time. But I gotta say, during a pandemic it’s complete bullshit!

SARS-CoV-2

In which we’re having a GLOBAL PANDEMIC, guys.

In case you haven’t had time to stay caught up, here’s a quick pandemic data dump.

Oregon governor today bans dine-in, gatherings over 25
https://www.oregonlive.com/coronavirus/2020/03/amid-coronavirus-oregon-will-not-yet-impose-curfew-on-restaurants-and-bars-gov-kate-brown-declares.html 

Multiple states following CDC recs (the dumbass White House: ‘fake news’)
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/03/15/coronavirus-bars-restaurants-closed-states/5055634002/
  
Even fuckin’ Vegas is closing tomorrow?!
https://vegas.eater.com/2020/3/15/21181058/mgm-resorts-closes-vegas-properties-march-16 

Overview:

    – the R0 for Covid-19 is estimated at 2.2, so it is almost twice as contagious as H1N1
    – current estimates of mortality rate is conservatively 10 times that of H1N1
    – the 2019 flu jab offered no protection against this novel corona virus, so the entire population is susceptible
    – there is no Tamiflu-like drug treatment for this disease, only symptom mitigation (we have only a single anti-viral, still in trials, with no proven success against Covid-19)
    – causes mild or asymptomatic infections in a large percentage of those infected, which contributes to spread
    – we don’t have anti-virals available to reduce the number of days of viral loads high enough to infect others  
    – there is possible evidence of reinfection which implies surviving it doesn’t convey immunity (but this is likely a testing error)
    – there is very little testing in the US, so population infection rates are likely significantly higher than reported
    – working estimate of the total infections in the US today is 670,000 or 1 of every 485 people
    – hospitals in Italy, an estimate 10-14 days ahead of us, are so overwhelmed by the ill they forced into wartime triage protocols

Coronavirus survives on hard surfaces for days
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/03/14/811609026/the-new-coronavirus-can-live-on-surfaces-for-2-3-days-heres-how-to-clean-them  

CDC sanitization guidelines (KILL IT WITH BLEACH)
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/organizations/cleaning-disinfection.html

White House today, fucking finally, steps up
https://www.whitehouse.gov/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/03.16.20_coronavirus-guidance_8.5x11_315PM.pdf  

Over-the-counter anti-inflammatory drugs (like ibuprofen) may aggravate Covid-19, so stick to Tylenol
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/14/anti-inflammatory-drugs-may-aggravate-coronavirus-infection  

SARS-CoV-19 has a super awful rally-then-decompensate feature
https://www.roi-nj.com/2020/03/14/opinion/life-at-the-epicenter-of-n-j-s-coronavirus-outbreak/

https://twitter.com/ianmnoone/status/1239236932372172800

How to flatten the curve
https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/

CDC to employers: minimize exposure between employees and also between employees and the public
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/guidance-business-response.html

Deeper dive: WHO stats & research
https://ourworldindata.org/coronavirus 

In conclusion, STAY THE FUCK HOME. #StayTheFHome

– San Francisco is shelter in place
– Dubai is closed
– France is closed
Porn is closed