Tag Archives: Mother

You can't do nothing, so you might as well do something.

Life, , ,

In which I want to go see Mother so much it hurts.

I thought maybe I wasn’t going to be able to deal with the Creator of a reality that contained within it the death of my beloved pet and companion, and in fact I pretty much only looked at my meditation corner over the next few days to glare at it and think angry thoughts, but not much time passed before I found myself sitting in tears in a hopelessly heartbroken Why? phase. (The Fuck You, how could You allow this phase didn’t even last a week, mainly because I knew it was coming; I’d known from the day I adopted her that she’d die first. So.)

The incarnation of my Satguru being physically so far away, for answers I had to resort to that most revered of traditions: opening books at random. Daughter of Fire was several pages about how the guru doesn’t do anything any more than the Sun “does” anything. The Sun is just the sun, but because of the Sun, flowers open and all life on Earth is sustained. The Awaken Children volume I pulled at random was an entire chapter about the same thing: how one must be in the presence of the guru to experience forward motion on the path. The other book I’d been reading, Autobiography of a Yogi, was in the middle of a similar exposition as well. Continue reading You can't do nothing, so you might as well do something. →

Seeing Mother

Music, Spiritual, , ,

In which my plans are quite suddenly changed.

Saturday night my entire band had a long practice. After, Curtis and I went out and Becca showed up. We met a wine writer from Seattle and hung out with her all night, even dragged her to after hours for a bit. I got drunk. Around three in the morning, Curtis and I finished up the curry and rice I had stashed in the fridge and he crashed in the front bedroom.

Sunday, the weather was GLORIOUS! Clear and breezy, and had to be at least seventy degrees out! We went to brunch at 26 brix (and let me tell you, the bloody mary was awesome) and then wandered aimlessly around town until Curtis had to go record with RB. We even stopped at the miniature airport and watched the enthusiasts fly their little planes around for awhile.

Monday, I did – among other tedious but necessary online things – my taxes. I’m getting a refund! (I was so poor last year that I actually qualified for EIC. Go me.) Apparently I’ll be getting $300 for my rebate, too, which is exiting because I’ll TOTALLY need it to see Amma this summer.

I was going to try to see Her in New York in July, but not only has the ticket for the dates I wanted doubled in price in the past 6 days, but it turns out that one of the other techs at work has already gotten those dates off for vacation – so there’s no way I’ll get them off, too.

Now I’m scrambling madly to get organized to see Mother in Seattle, since people are taking vacation days during all the other tour stops I’d like to go to (not only New York, but Fairfield and Chicago too). The Seattle programs are complex because there’s a day of public programs followed by a two-day retreat and then a public Devi Bhava. If I’m going at all, I either register for the retreat or I only see Mother for one day. Since it costs just about $200 to fly to Seattle I’d rather go for more than a single day… so now I need to sign up for a retreat with no on-site housing in a town where I know no Amma devotees. Gah!

(You know, I should have known this would happen. I contacted the Seattle satsang by email and am doing seva remotely – placing notices on various online boards about Mother’s visit – but of course it’s going to work out that I have to go meet the Seattle satsang properly, and probably work like crazy at the programs and the retreat too.)

In other news, Bindu’s going to the vet for blood work tomorrow. She’s gotten fat since we’ve been here (because grandmas are indulgent and feed dogs table scraps, and give them milk and lunch meat every single night before bed) and now she drinks and pees so much that I’m worried about diabetes. She’s exhibiting some other behavioral changes too, which is why I’m actually worried: she can’t walk the 12 blocks to work with me on Saturdays without a rest at the halfway point, and she seems sleepy and cuddly more than tired or overheated.

Send the good blue dog your non-diabetic thoughts, if you would, and I’ll let you know what we learn when the results come back.