Tag Archives: Seattle

Retreat! Retreat! Run away!

Spiritual, ,

In which I’m at the retreat in Puyallup.

Amped! is the coolest chick EVAR. She came to my motel all on her own volition, she chose a kick ass restaurant in Kent for brunch, she has the cutest baby, and she drove me (and Leela) to our Puyallup motel. I *heart* her, and it was way cool finally meeting her in person after knowing her online for four years. Plus the bitch can knit, let me tell you what. And make beer! And wine! And donuts! And cute children!

The Puyallup motel, on the other hand, leaves things to be desired. First of all, it’s a single – I wanted a double – and, of course, there’s this. Second of all, it’s farther from the program location than I’d wanted, and getting back and forth has been a bit of a hassle.

Yesterday afternoon I took a cab to the retreat because it was raining. (Seven bucks for 1.82 miles. Not bad. Dry, at least.) Arrived at the fairgrounds, followed the signs, registered for the retreat, bought a water bottle – apparently as an American I’m hardwired to respond instinctively to cross merchandising – and stuck it in my bag, then went to the snack shop for chai.

I sat in the hall for awhile and watched the local satsang and the tour staff set up. All that industry, and nothing for me to do. Next event on the retreat schedule? Three and a half hours away.

There’s no smoking inside the fairgrounds. Had to go stand on the corner outside the entrance and watch the traffic roar by. There was a wedding reception in one of the other buildings inside the grounds, and people were coming and going for that. I enjoyed watching Amma devotees in whites and hawt Mexican dudes in boots and tight pants self-sort at the gate.

I went back inside the fairgrounds. Wandered around. Found the food and the bookstore and the bathrooms and learned the general layout. Eventually, I joined the queue. I didn’t really make a decision to do so, I just didn’t have anything else to do.

An hour later I ended up with a good conversation under my belt – I was standing in line next to two first-timers who thanked me for what I’d had to say about Amma and said I should do stand-up comedy for a living – and the lowest darshan token number I’ve ever had in my life: B4. I went inside, put my bag next to the stage, went and ate dinner, hit the bathroom, and was in place half an hour before Mother arrived.

Made it all the way through satsang but had to get up halfway through bhajans and move around a little. I love sitting so close to Mother, but it kinda fries my circuits and I don’t think I’ve ever made it entirely through to arati without at least getting up and moving to the wall. Some years I’ve felt compelled to leave the hall altogether, so I’m getting better.

When darshan started, I went outside for a bit, then had a seven-layer brownie at the snackshop. (I love that coconut/chocolate shit. So teh yum!) When I re-entered the hall She was already at C2, so I packed all my crap into my bag, hid it under the side of the stage, and got in line for darshan. The line was on express and the next thing I knew I was next. I wiped my face to make sure I wouldn’t get oil all over Amma’s clothes, and the woman doing Lap Assist absently stroked the side of my forehead while the couple in front of me finished getting their hugs. There was a space in front of me, the devotee on Lap patted at the floor, I moved my knees, looked up, and my beloved Amma was reaching for me, smiling. I melted into the lap, so ineffably glad to be there after a year of being apart from Her. She murmured “My daughter, my daughter, my daughter” into my ear and my heart tried to break: a crack and a rush like bones breaking, and your chest sore and bright and aching, and you know She’s changed you again. When I sat back and She put my prasad into my hand and smiled at me again, I said, “Oh, Ma!” with my dry voice and She reached for me and hugged me again.

I went to sit to the left of Her chair. Within minutes of leaving the lap, I was stone cold exhausted. It took an hour to get a ride organized and I sat, deeply fatigued, mind utterly silent, watching Mother give hug after hug, being grateful that such beings even bother to remain enough in the world to do such great works.

It’s estimated that Mother has given over 30 million hugs.

This year is not so much about bhakti. I’m meditating a lot, and there’s no work for me to do because this isn’t the Iowa programs and I’m a guest, not a host: it’s all profound depth and silence and a sense almost of isolation, and maybe this is the year I learn to truly love to meditate. I don’t know, but this morning I didn’t even bother to go to the morning program. Leela got up at 5:30 to catch a ride to the yoga class with the chick from Dublin, and I’ve just been hanging out here by myself. I was tired, and The Curse is coming, and it just seemed perfectly fine to be here (I miss at least one entire program every year. It’s how I roll.) even though I’ve wasted utterly precious time I could have spent in the presence of Mother’s body.

I spoke with K for an hour after woke up around eleven, and naturally there was more mind-blowing synchronicity between us. I’m just gonna admit that I’m totally in love (and that if he’s full of shit, I swear I will dismember him and feed his remains to small, vicious fishes) and that he’s adorable and earnest and cute I wish he was here.

After I finish writing I’ll shower and dress and meditate, and keep watch out the window for a ride back to the program hall. I’ve had nothing today but coffee and I need some real food, and, of course, Mother’s going to be there. Plus it’s Q&A tonight!

Six Blocks from Seattle Center

Spiritual, Travel, , ,

In which I take the longest bus ride EVAR.

Woke up at K’s this morning. He may have tried to let me sleep in, but he tends to look at me while I’m sleeping [the utter weirdo] and the attention wakes me up. (At least he has the grace to make the coffee.) We lounged around, talked, took showers, dressed, got in the car.

I walked into the airport just as they were announcing my flight. We kissed, he left, I went through security. (This time, they did not go through MY ENTIRE SUITCASE: yay.)

Sat at the gate for awhile. Boarded at 10:50, flew to Seattle. Arrived on time, went downstairs, called my devotee roommate Leela (we met on the Travel Exchange, not IRL). I was at baggage claim 16. She was at baggage claim 1 – of course. So I hoofed halfway across the airport to meet her. Thank God for rolley cases!

After several phone calls we finally found one another and met properly. I pulled out the stuff I’d printed off the ‘net and we discovered we were only fifty yards from the Gray Line bus counter. We got in line to buy tickets, but when we got to the desk a big Russian dude came and said, “If you pay cash, I help you. Come. You pay cash.” We followed him. He took our luggage and walked us to the bus. (Turns out the counter dude hadn’t had a break in six hours and really needed to pee.) The Russian bus driver stowed our luggage and escorted us on board.

Forty minutes later, the bus was full and Leela and I had met another Amma devotee who lives in Mother’s ashram and we were all three having a lovely chat.

Not only does the Gray Line stop constantly, but it doesn’t even go to the Travelodge. We had to catch a commuter to go the rest of the way, and much hilarity ensued as the driver stowed a metric ton of luggage in the ass end of that little short bus. (A woman next to me let out an involuntary groan watching the driver stow suitcases. When I raised an eyebrow at her, she shrugged and said, “There’s three bottles of booze in that suitcase at the bottom.” LOL!) The short bus was fun because everyone chatted and laughed, but fast it was not: we didn’t check into our motel until 3:11.

After check-in, we walked over to Whole Paycheck and ate, and I bought some green plasti-shoes. (I *heart* them. They’re very springy!) We walked over to Seattle Center and found the program hall, but no one was setting up yet. We laid in the grass because the weather is drop-dead gorgeous today. Leela gave a beggar some change; I gave him a cigarette.

We idled back to our motel. I got all comfy on the bed with my laptop. Leela went back out. I chatted with K on the phone because we’re über-dorks who can’t go eight hours without speaking to each other.

The program doesn’t start until 10 tomorrow morning, so I’ve got quite a bit of time on my hands. Am wondering if I care enough to find a pub within walking distance… we seem to be in gaytown (everyone, from the motel desk clerk to the Whole Foods checker to the barrista at Starbucks, not to mention half the boys on the street in this neighborhood, is utterly flaming), so it might be worth going out to find a drink.

Stoked to be in Seattle! Super stoked to see Mother tomorrow!

Oh, and the Flickr set is here.

My life rocks like a ship at sea, but there ain't much to blog.

Admissions, , , ,

In which there’s so much going on that it’s totally like there ain’t nothin’ goin’ on. Know what I mean?

I’d like to write something brilliant and witty today.

But I’m not going to, because I’m currently one of those useless, in-a-new-relationship, cheesy, goofy, drippy, self-absorbed peeps who can’t think about anything other than her own condition. (It’s baaaaaaad, my babies. You’re so lucky you’re not a fly on the wall ’round here lately, because you’d get freakin’ diabetes. Srsly.)

On the surface, everything is pretty normal. I work my day job. I eat and sleep and talk on the phone. I could make a laundry list of the things I’ve been doing – work, drive, drink, eat, talk, laugh, cry, cuddle, sleep – but the shit that’s really been going on is intense. We talk all the time, we’re still not getting enough sleep, we eat at odd hours, we’ve been known to kill a bottle of vodka in two sessions, and we’re lucky we haven’t been arrested for smoking naked in his driveway in the middle of the night. (Okay, so we only did that once.) We’re hopelessly geeked on each other and it rawks.

I am completely neglecting my Gramma and my dog. I spend nearly all of my free time at K’s. When I swing through my house, I’m there to shower or pick something up. Gramma’s given me some good-natured shit about the fact that I’m out all the time, but at least in the following breath she allows that I’m “old enough to make [my] own decisions.” It’s SO WEIRD to be only a few months from my 40th birthday and in a living situation that makes me feel vaguely naughty about coming home the morning after to shower and change before work. Hah!

Tomorrow I fly out of ALW at 11:20 AM, off to Seattle to spend five days with Mother. I will eat Indian food and meditate and get darshan and drink chai and spend money at the bookstore and attend the retreat and it will be wonderful.

Seeing Mother

Music, Spiritual, , ,

In which my plans are quite suddenly changed.

Saturday night my entire band had a long practice. After, Curtis and I went out and Becca showed up. We met a wine writer from Seattle and hung out with her all night, even dragged her to after hours for a bit. I got drunk. Around three in the morning, Curtis and I finished up the curry and rice I had stashed in the fridge and he crashed in the front bedroom.

Sunday, the weather was GLORIOUS! Clear and breezy, and had to be at least seventy degrees out! We went to brunch at 26 brix (and let me tell you, the bloody mary was awesome) and then wandered aimlessly around town until Curtis had to go record with RB. We even stopped at the miniature airport and watched the enthusiasts fly their little planes around for awhile.

Monday, I did – among other tedious but necessary online things – my taxes. I’m getting a refund! (I was so poor last year that I actually qualified for EIC. Go me.) Apparently I’ll be getting $300 for my rebate, too, which is exiting because I’ll TOTALLY need it to see Amma this summer.

I was going to try to see Her in New York in July, but not only has the ticket for the dates I wanted doubled in price in the past 6 days, but it turns out that one of the other techs at work has already gotten those dates off for vacation – so there’s no way I’ll get them off, too.

Now I’m scrambling madly to get organized to see Mother in Seattle, since people are taking vacation days during all the other tour stops I’d like to go to (not only New York, but Fairfield and Chicago too). The Seattle programs are complex because there’s a day of public programs followed by a two-day retreat and then a public Devi Bhava. If I’m going at all, I either register for the retreat or I only see Mother for one day. Since it costs just about $200 to fly to Seattle I’d rather go for more than a single day… so now I need to sign up for a retreat with no on-site housing in a town where I know no Amma devotees. Gah!

(You know, I should have known this would happen. I contacted the Seattle satsang by email and am doing seva remotely – placing notices on various online boards about Mother’s visit – but of course it’s going to work out that I have to go meet the Seattle satsang properly, and probably work like crazy at the programs and the retreat too.)

In other news, Bindu’s going to the vet for blood work tomorrow. She’s gotten fat since we’ve been here (because grandmas are indulgent and feed dogs table scraps, and give them milk and lunch meat every single night before bed) and now she drinks and pees so much that I’m worried about diabetes. She’s exhibiting some other behavioral changes too, which is why I’m actually worried: she can’t walk the 12 blocks to work with me on Saturdays without a rest at the halfway point, and she seems sleepy and cuddly more than tired or overheated.

Send the good blue dog your non-diabetic thoughts, if you would, and I’ll let you know what we learn when the results come back.