Category Archives: Life

This Is Totally For Real

—–Original Message—–
From: {name removed}
Sent: Tuesday, July 26, 2005 9:44 AM
To: Admin
Cc: Supervisor
Subject: {name removed}

{name removed} just came into the office requesting us to walk softer, or stop “hopping”. Apparently the ceiling frames and tiles in the suite below us has collapsed twice. {name removed} apparently {kind of business} and is able to hear us all day “stomping around” and “making all kinds of noise”?

I think that is odd due to the employees sitting @ their desks the majority of the day , and when we move around the office, nobody is running or jumping. Just a little confused and concerned of why {name removed} always seems to blame our department. Just an FYI.

Thanks,
{name removed}

—–Original Message—–
From: Admin
Sent: Tuesday, July 26, 2005 1:20 PM
To: {name removed}
Cc: Supervisor
Subject: RE: {name removed}

Don’t be concerned. {name removed} often makes somewhat strange requests. We have asked her repeatedly to not give any our employees instructions or advice. She is supposed to liason with {name removed}. If she comes in again suggest that she talk to {name removed} regarding any issues about the building.
——–

I Love This Meme!

Shigeki (the condom-measuring guy) tagged me with a meme!

One of his recent posts was a list of what he happened to have in his backpack that day, and so many people thought it was amusing he turned it into a meme and tagged me.

So here’s my bag:

In My Bag

(Click the image to enlarge it.)

BAG – My bag is a cool, soft, large bag with a wide shoulder strap and Ganesh on it.
DEBIT RECEIPTS – I’ve resorted to clipping them together so I don’t lose any before I get them entered into my PPC.
CHECKBOOK – Filled with all my plastic and ID. And checks, obviously.
IPOD USB CABLE – I tend to download MP3s at work because the Internet connection is so much faster there.
IPOD COZY – I knitted this. Isn’t it cute?
IPOD – ‘Nuff said.
SMOKES – Additive-free American Spirit cigarettes and a Bic lighter.
POCKET PC – This little device contains in its 6 ounces almost my entire brain: my Contacts, Schedule, checkbook register, video games, password & code database, and between 3 and 15 full-length ebooks. My bag would be massive without this baby, because I’d be carrying an address book, Day Planner, and a stack of treeware instead. (I simply cannot live without something to read about my person. I read ebooks in restaurants, in lobbies, in pubs.)
EYEDROPS – I wear hard (gas permeable) contact lenses.
THUMB DRIVE – This is a 256MB external USB hard drive. I do keep graphics files and crap on it, but mostly I use it to move files from one non-networked machine to another. I love it because it’s small. Small technology turns me on.
CELL PHONE – This not only is small, but it makes calls and surfs the web, and it takes pictures too. Which makes me love it so, so much.
WALLET – This is basically my change purse. Right now it contains $6 in bills, some coins, and a few tokens for free drinks at The Dew Drop or Ned’s Place. There are also about six wrapped toothpicks in it right now, but I never use them and they’re getting on my nerves so I’ll probably throw them away soon.
SUNGLASSES – You know, to cut the glare.

I don’t really carry anything very interesting, do I. But I have more processing power than MULTIVAC what with the iPod, PPC, cell phone, and thumbdrive. Heh! (Not that the thumb drive has a processor.)

I’m tagging Cootera, 80, Amped, Jon, and Logan. So: What’s in your bag (or purse/murse, laptop case, or wallet)?

My "Baby Bother"

You know what’s cute?

My brother, J.P. Morgan, that’s what. He’s got a new job, and he has to wear a tie, and he totally sent me a picture about the whole thing.

Jay at work

We spent an hour on the phone last night, shooting the shit. It started like this:

Me: Hello!
Jay: Hey! You answered. I guess we’re not playing phone tag anymore.
Me: Whassup?
Jay: Well, see, there’s these things. Planets. And they’re up. They’re–
Me: –rotating around the sun!
Jay: *beat* Oh, I see you know about that already.

We are so related it’s not even funny. Our senses of humor are equally out; as in totally outside. Most people have no idea what we’re talking about half the time, but if we’re in the same room together and something funny transpires – funny by our weird standards – we always catch each other’s eye and raise an eyebrow, which is Morgan sibling code for “Did you fucking PERCEIVE THAT FUCKING SHIT RIGHT THERE?!?!?”

My brother is so funny it’s not even funny. Dude. And he’s a monster drummer, which is cool. MONSTER drummer. Rhythm is so his nasty little bitch.

And you know what else? Fun Chicken*, that’s what.

~ + ~ + ~
*Fun Chicken was a machine in the Walmart and/or Hy-Vee foyer that had a stuffed mechanical parrot masquerading as a chicken inside it, and for two quarters it would lay a plastic egg with a prize inside it. We pronounced it “Funch Icken.” For like, ten years.

"The shut-up-iest of all"

Normally I don’t link to others’ blog posts even when they make me chuckle, but this post is just so. fucking. funny. that I’ve actually read it three times, for real. For utter and total real!

If I was even half that funny myself I’d stay home and giggle and never go out at all because I’d just be too good for y’all.

Folks I don't know personally who've referenced my blogs

Not only has my site been up long enough that it utterly smokes in search engine rankings (don’t believe me? Google my damn name – or alternately, the word “peasex” – and see what you get!) but now actual individual real live people are beginning to take time out of their busy blogs to hook me up with a gratuitious link.

I love this new trend. It’s so fun.

Here are a few of the links I’ve enjoyed:

  • iPoditude linked to my iPod cozy patterns awhile back, which totally rocked.
  • A rural chick named Birdfarm has mentioned me three times now. I forget what she said the first time; the second time she quoted me bitching about learning “greater than and lesser than” in her teaching blog; the third time (the charm) was yesterday when she announced in a post that she’s now linking to me because I’m so wonderfully clever.
  • Fellow knitter Franklin mentioned me after I asked what his blog name meant to him, and I was both pleased and shocked.

But today’s reference was a beauty! It cracked me up the most:

  • A gay geek in Japan mentions my site because I posted a comment on his blog yesterday while surfing idly, and then he goes on, in the same post, to describe busting out a ruler during sex to measure the differences between Japanese and American condoms in a post called Cultural Differences?

I daresay I’ve arrived. Where, I’m not sure, but you can’t argue that that’s some funny shit right here!