In which the laptop goes away. Again.

Bread and BoSe are heading back to Indy today. Bread’s taking the laptop with him, so my Internet presence may become spotty again. I’ve got dial-up at home, but it’s slow and sometimes I don’t have the patience. Depends on how bored I get, I suppose.

The jeep’s over at Iowa Tire right now getting new tires put on, so I’ll have my own wheels again. It was stored in the barn for a month or so, so it’s covered in bird and bat shit. I had to hose off the windshield just so I could see to drive it to town! I’ll be cleaning it off (and out) this afternoon, believe you me. A trip to the car wash is just what’s needed.

I’ve applied for three jobs already this week. Go me!

In which I have nothing to say.

Bread woke me up way before eight because he hates me and wants me to suffer. I’M UNEMPLOYED, for chrissake, I should be allowed to sleep in like the total fucking loser I really am.

Then I dusted all three dogs with diatomaceous earth. I’d dusted the cat the night before and saw three dead fleas on him this morning, and all three dogs are totally infested again even though we dipped them 48 hours ago. Damn fleas.

Then we drove to town, picked up our loan, hit the bank, ate Indian food, and came to BoSe’s.

Where we still are. They’ve been working much of the afternoon. Working is all well and good, of course, but I think it’s time for a cocktail, myself.

I reworked my resume. I learned that there is nothing worth applying for in Fairfield or Ottumwa. I think I’ll end up on foodstamps, working in a coffee shop. (As long as it has wireless, that might be okay.) (Just kidding!) (Well, mostly.)

In which the Internet continues to be A Force for Good. And goodies!

This morning we were outside and Bread was checking the oil in the BBT because the ‘check engine’ light came on last night as we were driving home. He said, “There’s an Amazon box in the garage,” and I walked over to check it out.
“So there is!” I said. “But I didn’t order anything.”

I opened the box and it was another present from an Internet friend. Amped! sent me the following goodies off of my Wishlist, with a note that they were intended to cheer me up during my current path upheavals, which they most certainly will:

The Real Book: Sixth Edition (legal)

I have a real book! I have a real book! I have a real book! OMG, this is so exciting!

Now I just need to find a nice jazz combo to go through some standards with. Mmm, piano and bass. Mmm.

Little Things by Toby Lightman

I’m in love with the track Real Love off of this CD, and after hearing it I Limewired the rest of the tracks, but they’re all low fidelity. I have no qualms about downloading free music and buying the album later; I figure it’s like borrowing a library book, reading it, and then buying yourself a copy later.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More by Roald Dahl

Raybo told me about this book recently and said it was wonderful and that I must read it, so I obediently added it to my Wishlist. I’m excited to check it out, but frankly I have very little idea of what it is.

Thank you so much, Amped! You rock so hard I can barely stand it. *smooch* The moral here, if there is one, appears to be that it pays to keep one’s Wishlist up-to-date, because you never know when some awesome human being is gonna ship you a box o’ lovin’.

Fifteen minutes later, uring the drive to town, a locust flew in the window and got stuck in the little indentation on the door. It was HUGE. I’m generally not squeamish about bugs — I have no problem with spiders or junebugs or what have you — but this thing wasn’t a bug, it was HUGE. HUGE, I tell you! It needed its own fucking zip code. I had to scootch over to get away from it because the window was rolled all the way down and I was afraid it was going to fly out, hit the wind, and bounce back onto ME. *shudder* It eventually got out of the door and flew out the window — without touching me, praise the powers that be — but it was just way too much bug. Way too much. Like, three times too much bug.

Bugs just shouldn’t be that freakin’ big, I’m telling you. It totally freaked me out. Where the hell are we, the freakin’ Amazon basin? There’s no reason for a bug to be big enough to give you a fucking concussion, none at all. EVER. Ugh.

I asked Bread about the ‘check engine’ light and if the truck was behaving as oddly as it had during the drive home last night and he said, “You know, I can’t figure out if these are hurdles I’m supposed to jump over, or signs that I need to make other choices.”

I totally hear that. I don’t know the answer, but I certainly hear the question. It’s hard to know what to do sometimes, with several options available.

We had tons of amazing support of nature to get out to Indianapolis the first time. It was almost eerie how everything pulled together, seemingly out of nowhere, for us. Then we spent three weeks working for a company that wasn’t paying anyone. Sometimes, it seems, support of nature isn’t — it’s one’s own ritam. You think the Universe is nudging you in a certain direction for your general good, but in retrospect you realize that what really happened is you used your own innate (and generally latent) power to get yourself where you wanted to go, and there really wasn’t any kind of message at all.

It’s a fucking stone cold bitch, is what it is

The weather, however, is not stone cold at all. From the NWS:

TEMPERATURES IN THE MIDDLE AND UPPER 90S WILL COMBINE WITH THE HIGH HUMIDITY LEVELS TO CREATE HEAT INDICES IN THE 105 TO 110 RANGE THIS AFTERNOON. WARM AND HUMID CONDITIONS WILL CONTINUE OVERNIGHT …BRINGING LITTLE RELIEF FROM THE HEAT.

Now I’m sitting in BoSe’s living room using his wireless; Bread’s playing Black on Xbox. BoSe is at the hospital with his mom. We’re waiting for a friend to drop by, then I guess we’re going to go home and hole up in the bedroom with the A/C on full blast to avoid the insane heat. Well, after the dogs get their flea baths, that is.

In which technical difficulties are the order of the day. Er, afternoon. Whatever.

I’ve finished my software training course and had lunch and now I’m ready to become certified in Xactimate. I’m sitting in the classroom with the seven other people who are ready to take the certification test.

And the software’s online training site is down. Hanging. Crashed. No one can register.

So I’m having another cup of coffee, because why the hell not, while one of the instructors is on the phone with the vendor. It looks like we’re all going to have to register for the site over the phone. Individually. If you can believe that.

Query: What the hell is the rule for ‘-or’ versus ‘-er’? Why is it ‘instructor’ and ‘adjuster’? Why isn’t ‘adjuster’ spelled ‘adjustor’?

I haven’t sent out a single resume all week. I really need to get crackin’ this weekend. Work. Need work.

In other news, the husband and I are borrowing even more money because, well, it appears that we require food to live (odd, I know, but there it is) and the mortgage is due in four days and, essentially, we have no other option. Bread will be going back out to Indy, possibly next week, and I’m staying here and looking for work — correction: getting work! — and making token payments toward our bills and feeding the pets and hanging out with my girlfriends and going to band practice and knitting a sweater. I’d look for website gigs, but Bread’ll have the laptop with him and I will never build a site over dial-up again as long as I live, amen.

Update: I did the test in, like, ten minutes. It was only 35 questions. Yes, I got 100%. Now I’m certified in Xactimate. Whee!

In which things are still less than totally smooth, but I ain’t dead yet.

Bread got home Monday night. We promptly had a huge goddamned fight. (The kind of fight where he left and didn’t come back until the morning, and I was glad to see him go.) Go, us.

I’m getting tired of it. *sigh*

Tuesday I spent in class. For lunch, I got some vegetarian sushi from the coffee shop and ate it here in the classroom while surfing the Iowa Jobs db for work. (There’s nothing in this entire county I’m qualified for. There’s a bunch of stuff that pays $5.10 an hour, but I ain’t no kennel assistant or day laborer.)

Bread took poor Stella to the vet yesterday afternoon, and it turns out she has an hemotoma on her ear, which is a broken blood vessel from scratching or shaking. She’s got minor surgery today; they’re going to suture a tube into the ear and let it drain for ten days. She’s already been dropped off, and she gave Bread the “WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME HERE WHY CAN’T I GO IN THE TRUCK?!?!” look.

Last night we had drinks at the Hideaway with Raybo and AmmZon, which was lovely. I had more cocktails than I needed. Then we got drive-thru and went home, where it turned out I’d gotten beef tacos instead of bean tacos, and that really just pissed me off. I had a brief explosion, but got it under control. I gave Bread the tacos and he gave me his potatoes. After eating, I went upstairs and went to sleep. I even got over six hours of sleep last night! Yay, me.

Now I’m back in class, with the laptop, on the Internet, with a cup of coffee. We’re going over test questions. I’ve got Vuboq on IM. My uterus is operating at a nice dull roar, rather than a two million decibel screech. The A/C is working just fine. I just downloaded Google Earth and am looking forward to introducing Bread to it ’cause I think he’ll totally dork out on it.

I think I’m having a craving for Los Portales for lunch today. Too bad I won’t have time to get there and back on foot during the lunch break. Hmm.

In which Bread will be home for a few days.

I just spoke with Bread during the afternoon break.

BoSe needs to rush back to town for a family emergency, so the two of them are packing as I type. They should roll in between nine and ten tonight. I have to clean BoSe’s car and drop it at his house and get a ride home; or depending on Stella’s ear situation I may have to use it to do stuff, then run it into town and meet them at BoSe’s house when they get here. Bread said he’d call me from Burlington.

In other news, this class is pretty basic and boring, okay really basic and boring, but I have learned a couple of cute tricks and the people seem really nice.

In which I accentuate the positive.

A few quotes I’ve read or heard lately that made me giggle:

“Of course I’m going to pay my library fines. Right after I get my divorce. It’s on the list!” -ML

On kissing: “More lips! Less tongue!” -CN

“If you don’t have a trust fund, then you’ve noticed that sometimes life can be rather shitty.” -CH

“I’d fuck Barbie.” -S

“Kill me now. I’m out of gin.” -SD

“Dorothy Parker required only three things of her men: They must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.” -RY

In which it’s looking up. Mainly because it’s raining and NOT SO GODDAMNED HOT.

This morning I drove Snow to the airport. We had a lovely conversation about geek stuff on the drive up. He also paid me for my trouble, which was awesome of him and means I’ll eat all weekend! Yay! (Actually, I wasn’t really going to starve, but one exaggerates for effect.)

After returning his car to his lovely wife V., I went to WGC for a pseudo-interview. I’d like to work for them training people on Xactimate, but it sounds like they’d want me to take three or four weeks of training before I could do that. I’m interested, because I think doing software training would be fun, but I need a little income in the nearer future. If only I was eligible for full unemployment benefits! That would be the perfect scenario: get money for going to school! Yow!

Bread and I had fights on the phone the past two days, but today we did much better. He got the laptop safe and sound, which is a relief — the idea of it in the hands of UPS made me sad. He’s still riding the sales emotional rollercoaster, so I suppose I have to get EVEN MORE STOIC when dealing with him. *rolleyes* (I can say condescending things like this about other people because I, dear reader, am perfect. But you already knew that.)

After WGC, I went by Iowa Workforce Development but the chick I needed to see was at lunch. So I came to the rental store to visit Mr J and his DSL connection. When customers walk in I smile at them and say, “Hi! I don’t work here, so I can’t help you!” I’m sure they love it.

Rescue Kitty is still living here because the local no-kill shelter can’t seem to call J back. Rescue Kitty is a love. I’m gonna go pet her then go back to the employment office.