In which there’s a sterotypical Monday goddamned morning.
My alarm goes off when it’s still full dark outside so I push snooze at least three times because fuck getting out of bed before the sun’s up if you’re not about to get on a plane and go somewhere.
Roll out at the last possible minute, go to the dark kitchen and start a pot of coffee. Walk through the dark house. Take a shower. Walk back through the house opening drapes: day is breaking, but it’s dismal and overcast and still raining.
Dry hair, dress–at least I did laundry yesterday so all my clothes are clean–cook, pour coffee. Eye the rain through the kitchen window. Put on another layer of clothes: immediately begin to overheat. Push my glasses up and the left hinge breaks. Strip off my layers and go see if it can be fixed: no, it can’t be fixed. Go to the front bathroom and put in my contacts. Now I’m late to work.
Suit back up. Ride to work in the goddamned rain. The sky is grey and it’s so wet my brakes barely work.
My first caller of the day required me to spell vzam.net several times and he still had it wrong at the end of the call. I don’t know how to be more clear than spelling it phonetically for you SEVEN FUCKING TIMES: “Listen, listen, it’s v like victor, z like zulu, a like alpha, m like mike, dot november echo tango.” I cannot try any fucking harder, people.
My second, fifth, and eighth calls were some old dude who has basically never used a computer before and who requires me to dictate support steps so he can write them down and who also insists on talking instead of listening. Why do so many people not observe the social covenant that indicates the questioner should SHUT THE FUCK UP AFTER ASKING A QUESTION so that the answerer may answer?
Taking first tier dial-up calls in the morning makes me really mad sometimes; I know I should be beyond it but there’s a part of me that really is a snob: if you cannot follow basic, simple, direct, clear instructions, your stupidity makes me mad. IT JUST DOES.
Welcome to (the first) Monday (of the year).