Category Archives: Soapbox

This kind of thing is so twenty years ago.

In which I go through such absurdity with women customers sometimes.

[dropcap]P[/dropcap]hone rings.

I answer. “Tech support. May I help you?”

Woman’s voice, in full-on baby talk mode: “I have an iPhone. I can’t send mail.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I’ve heard of that. Apple seems to assume that all outgoing mail servers use SSL, but ours doesn’t. So probably you just need to disable SSL. That’s usually the issue.”

Baby talk: “Can you… like… I mean. Alright, fine.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Baby talk: “How do I do that.” She probably has me pegged as a dick-slicing lesbian because I assumed she was a human being and answered her question without talking down to her.

Me: “Well, I don’t have an iPhone myself, so I can’t give you step-by-step instructions. But I used to have an iPod Touch, so I think what you’ll be looking for is in Settings.” Continue reading This kind of thing is so twenty years ago.

On the Occupy movement.

In which I’m not looking forward to the upcoming Even Greater Depression.

1. Fox News lies regularly, and this behavior isn’t even illegal.

The country is fractured, and it’s partialy because news reportage is terribly damaged. The people who watch one station honestly believe the people who watch another station are insane because they can’t agree on “the facts.”

Well, it turns out that the news isn’t required to tell the truth, nor to give equal time to opposing views. In fact, it’s actually okay to knowingly lie on a news program:

This means that Fox, for example, can say anything it wants, without restraint, regardless of its truthfulness or accuracy, and sell this product as “news”:

Continue reading On the Occupy movement.

Go die in a fire, Sales, you stupid prick. (And hey: nobody likes you, by the way.)

In which I HAZ A MAD.

Dear cell phone carrier,

JUST FUCKING TELL ME HOW MUCH IT COSTS WHEN I ASK. I’m going to sign up anyway, and your stupid contract will ensure I can’t go anywhere.

Do not tell me “it’s sixty-nine ninety-five a month,” when that number is as related to how much the service actually costs as peanut butter is to parallelograms: which is to say, NOT AT ALL.

My $70 plan now mysteriously costs nearly $100 a month; that’s an extra $360 a year. Why not just tell me what the fees add up to in the first place? I mean, I asked you right to your goddamned face, and you decided to lie to me. Continue reading Go die in a fire, Sales, you stupid prick. (And hey: nobody likes you, by the way.)

The current state.

In which it’s all peace and sunshine!

People are rioting in the UK, and apparently no one can figure out why. (Hint: happy people don’t riot.) Egypt thinks they’re doing it wrong, and Egypt’s right. Authorities are freaking out that rioters are coordinating via technology so watch this space for more legislation seeking control and monitoring of electronic communication.

There are kids in jail for sending packets to corporate servers. Seriously. Fuck you very much, Paypal. It was really cool when you blocked donations to Wikileaks but allowed donations to the KKK.

Parents seem to believe that protecting children from perverts is government’s job, not their own. They’re wrong. Don’t want your 13-year-old in a chat room with a pedo? Then fucking monitor your kid yourself, breeder.

The Anonymous and Wikileaks drops are proof that government keeps horrible secrets. They tap, they lie, and they kill. Transparency is essential; allowing more and more government monitoring of citizens’ data does nothing but tighten the noose. There is no privacy on the Internet for individual users, there should be none for governments and corporations, either.

Oh, and if you don’t believe corrupt government is corrupt, human beings are starving to death in Somalia as we speak.

Have a nice day.

Fuck the American Dream.

In which I suggest that the American Dream is propaganda.

I spend a lot of time on Twitter, and I’m following more and more political feeds (as a result of my fascination with Anonymous). I now even see tweets I disagree with, because my timeline’s not as curated as it once was.

And so this[*] bullshit happened the other day:

The Poor

And it got me thinking.

“The poor” are all lazy, entitled creeps who want to take our wealth from us, right? We seem to think so, even if there really isn’t much evidence to support it. The idea’s so embedded in our cultural consciousness that even I used to believe it, to the point of being frightened of the poor: the most helpless, disenfranchised, and powerless sector of America.

Jeez. I’m not like that. I pride myself on my compassion. Where did this heartless idea really come from?

And then I realized: it came from our pride and joy, our rallying point, our deepest belief. It came from the American Dream.

Continue reading Fuck the American Dream.

Love and sex. And suffering. And thinking.

In which there’s an incoherent brain dump on love, desire, and the mind.

I am surrounded by human beings who appear to be quite infatuated with romantic love and/or the frequency and quality of sexual intercourse they are (or aren’t) experiencing.

As I’m currently seeking neither romantic love nor sex, I end up watching behaviours and parsing sentences and thinking thoughts I often can’t voice because they’d be tangential or inappropriate, but here are some of the observations I’ve been mulling over:

Romantic love hurts you because it’s false, not because you’re unworthy of it.

I’ve wasted a lot of time recovering from gut-wrenching break-ups, and I’ve seen a lot of friends waste a lot of time grappling with intense emotional and psychological pain due to failed romantic entanglements.

Romantic love isn’t a universal human experience; it was invented in or near the 12th century. Before that, we didn’t have a way to think about it or express it, so it effectively didn’t exist. People knew about love and sex and partnership and family and raising offspring together, of course, but they didn’t have some kind of nebulous, Disney-fueled desire to meet a prince or princess and live happily ever after, nor did they experience the crushing pain of disappointment and self-doubt associated with failing to achieve or maintain it.

Continue reading Love and sex. And suffering. And thinking.

What America's reading.

In which everyone wants to be thin and rich and have great sex. They also want to be more right than everyone else about what God wants.

The top 25 most-highlighted books on the Kindle are about vanity and fucking, the love of money, self-help, and God.

The Bible appears five times.

The other “religious” books are tortured odes to human ego’s self-worship, and are written by the unenlightened. Because when the blind lead the blind, it always works out so well!

There are six novels.

Considering how many Kindles are in use and the type of people who use them, this list is terrifying to me.

The Voice.

In which I do something I don’t think I’ve ever done here: give a vocal lesson!

I have a friend who kicks ass when she shows up at karaoke. She’s been in bands. She’s a singer. She comes to my gigs sometimes.

She posted this article on Facebook today, and I read it, and damn if it doesn’t need a rebuttal. And I’m just the woman to do it! (If you’re too lazy to read the link, it’s basically a bunch of bullshit about how your diet has a profound effect on your voice box, and how you should “eat light proteins” and “avoid dairy” before gigs.)

Over the years I’ve tried it all, and I’m here to tell you that it’s all bullshit. Your voice is no more sensitive to environmental factors than your ankles are. Yes, if you sprain your ankle you’ll need to rest it until it’s healed, but other than that you probably never really think about how your diet or the weather are affecting your gait. No one ever goes around saying dumb shit like, “I can’t have dairy an hour before I walk, because it messes up my ankles.”

Continue reading The Voice.

Observations.

In which there’s just so much stupid shit going on that I can’t keep my mouth shut.

Here’s a list of unrelated items! I am basically bitching, here. YHBW.

1. Republicans Against War? MY ARSE.

Republicans against enforcing the Libyan no-fly zone “because it costs too much” are proof, as if we needed any, that politics are no longer about policy or even a set of beliefs but about absolutely nothing whatsoever. The GOP doesn’t like Obama because he’s a Democrat, and they’re going to block anything he does just to be contrary.

That kind of maturity is really attractive, gentlemen. Not. You rich fucks.

2. Science Fiction Would Have More Women If Not For Patriarchy!

There already are women in sci-fi. There already is science in sci-fi. Yeah, feminism and queer studies are cool, but give it a rest already: not everything is a fucking plot to punish you for having a uterus.

A lot of women don’t like science and just aren’t interested in it, period, and that’s why they drive the market for character-based, sociological science fiction. This is not something men have done! Men are not trying to keep women out of sci-fi, and there’s plenty of hard sci-fi written by women and read by women. Including me. But if I have to read one more hyper-academic, angry, factless article about how science fiction needs more women and more science, and about how those things aren’t there due to some imaginary cultural construct built by the penis people to keep women down, I will seriously go fucking ballistic. Continue reading Observations.

Okay, listen up, assholes.

In which I smack you around a little.

Here’s the deal. Gaddafi, a crazy person, whose family holds over half of Libya’s entire wealth, has been using a mercenary army to battle unarmed civilians. (A mercenary army made up of non-Libyans hired when Gaddafi lost control of the Libyan army after telling them to shoot their countrymen, their friends and family. These forces are NOT “pro-Gaddafi forces,” as you keep hearing, they are a combination of paid professionals and what’s left of the Libyan national army.)

What’s happening in Libya is that armies of mercenaries hired from sub-Saharan Africa are attacking normal, civilian Libyan citizens. Imagine that. Tanks and soldiers, opening fire into crowds of untrained, unarmed, non-combatant human beings. It would be like the National Guard coming to the elementary school you’re voting in and opening fire, killing everyone in the booths and in line. Do you get it now?

It’s a fucking abomination, a massive violation of human rights. Only a monster would think it’s “none of our business” or that it has “nothing to do with us”: we are the richest, most powerful nation in the world. It’s our duty to help the helpless. If we are capable of standing by while atrocities happen YET AGAIN, we might as well just go ahead and finish dropping dead of heart disease and diabetes en masse, because we deserve it. Continue reading Okay, listen up, assholes.