In which one is what one does.

I went to the grocery store and tried to cash my check; they refused to do it because it’s handwritten and drawn on an Oregon bank. Not having a checking account makes me feel like a goddamned second-class citizen.

I spent my last $2 at Taco Bell, then went to the car wash and used their trash bins to empty a bunch of garbage out of the jeep. I found the receipt for the battery core I’ve been hauling around since last November and went to the parts store to turn it in. They gave me $8.52 for it.

I bought $4 worth of gas and drove out to the farm. I have just enough money left for a pack of cigarettes.

Bread wasn’t home. I was half relieved and half heartbroken. I took my mail, some clothes, a thermos and a box of tea out of the kitchen. I got shoes and jackets and scarves and hats so I won’t freeze. I got my knitting and my guitar so I can have hobbies. I got the rest of my ID out of the desk in case I should need it. It was weird and made me equal parts sad and angry: sad because my marriage is over and I’m moving out and that sucks rocks, and mad because everything I took out of there is filthy and dusty and corroded or covered in spider webs and pet hair.

So here I am, with a check in my purse that’s useless (plus I owe cash to two of my friends, who spotted me a little here and there lately and who need their money back) and a jeep full of clothes and other junk packed mostly into garbage bags. I’m a fucking bag lady, only I have a car instead of a shopping cart.

I’ve marginalized myself. I can’t cash checks or do normal business transactions because a creditor fucked up my checking account and I *hate* that. And a significant portion of the few material things I still own are sitting in my car. And I had to turn in a battery core just to get enough gas money to drive to Batavia. If I am what I do, I’m a loser.

On the other hand, if I am what I eat then I’m a half pound bean burrito especiale. Yum!

AmmZon’s making chicken and cheesy broccoli rice and green beans for dinner. I don’t eat chicken, of course — and you shouldn’t either because chicken’s WAY TOO STUPID to eat — but cheesy broccoli rice sounds totally awesome. If I ever get my check cashed I’ll be able to pay her for groceries.

In which I’m nervous about visiting the farm.

I need warm clothes, so I’m driving out to the farm to get some. I’ve emailed Bread a few times about this but he hasn’t responded, which makes me feel weird. I try to assume all kinds of negative reasons for it, but probably he’s just ignoring it because it’s easier than dealing with it… an approach I can totally resonate with because I deal with things the same way myself.

I’ve made a list of the things I need to remember to get, and I think I have enough gas to get out there and back. (I got paid Friday, but my payroll check is drawn on an out-of-state bank and I don’t have any friends who can cash it for me because they’ve all got like $80 in their accounts this weekend. I’m going to try to cash it today at Econofoods; it’s a payroll check so they might. Not having a bank account IS REALLY FUCKING PISSING ME OFF.) I’m going to spend my last $2 in cash at Taco Bell on the way out there.

And if I can get my check cashed, I’m gonna dye my hair dark red. It finally became entirely my natural ash brown as of my last hair cut, and I hate it. Plus all the gray is a bummer. So: dark red, for fall. Yeah.

Truck has recently purchased the latest GTA — the one that came out first for PSP and finally got ported to PS2 — and is playing it in the other room. When you steal a cab, their radio stations are tuned to a totally awesome Indian pop channel. It makes listening to someone play GTA for hours and hours a little more pleasant, IMO.

In other news, I really wanna see A Scanner Darkly.

In which I’m out late.

I went out and had drinks with my boss and his wife. How cute is that? (AmmZon’s baking a layered chocolate-almond cake.) Widget is having a birthday this weekend, and they’re going to Chicago tomorrow for a few days, so I’ll be alone in the office tomorrow. I think I’ll come in to work in my pyjamas! Yeah!

In which I write a little update in an effort to be more personal than yesterday’s total geekfest post.

It’s getting cold. When I left work this evening, it was only 41 degrees. The streets and lawns are covered in leaves; people have their porches decorated for Halloween. It’s getting dark earlier and it’ll be DST soon enough. The fall weather is a little depressing to me and I’m chilly all the time, too.

Work was great again today; I like the work and the company. I’ve been sitting on a straight-backed chair for three days but this afternoon a leather executive chair showed up — dot-com bought me a kickass chair! — and it’ll be much better for my back.

AmmZon and I made dinner together tonight: black bean soup with cheese-and-broccoli quesadillas and corn bread. It was really good and the whole house smells like onions, garlic, and homemade corn bread. Yum. (I am a soup-making machine. Soup is my be-atch.)

Yesterday I had a feeding frenzy, though, OMG. I ate no fewer than four seperate times. I got up early and made myself a breakfast of scrambled eggs, hash browns, veggie sausage, and gravy. At lunch I made pasta pesto. For dinner I had Mexican. Twice. (Taco Bell drive-thru. Yes, I know I’m an idiot.) By the time I went to bed last night I felt like the Goodyear blimp.

Now that I’m employed I have to address my financial situation before some creditor learns I have a job and garnishes my wages. I’m totally overwhelmed and don’t know what to do… actually, I do know what to do first: I have to make a list of my debts. After that, though, I don’t know where to go for advice. Credit counseling? Bankruptcy lawyer? I don’t know which I should do. I’ve been in total denial about the whole thing and haven’t called anyone at all, nor have I been getting my mail from the farm, so I don’t even know which debts have gone to collections yet. Student loans, three credit cards, a bunch of utilities… Christ. It sucks. And if I’d just deal with it and make those phone calls, it’d probably be less horrible… but in my own defense I was depressed, phoneless, jobless, and being a fucking schmuck about it.

I need to go out to the farm and get some things. Warm clothes. Socks. Sweaters. A coat. My knitting, my guitar. Things like that. I’ve emailed Bread a couple of times but I don’t think he checks his mail very often, so he probably doesn’t even know I’m trying to get ahold of him. I could drive past BoSe’s house to see if he’s there, but I feel like a stalker doing that. He left me a note in my car the week before last inviting me out for coffee, but neither of us had phones then and I never got ahold of him. He may have thought I was ignoring him, but I was mostly just being my normal lazy self. I have a lot of stress about seeing him, but it’s probably pretty much in my own head. *bangs head on desk*

I think I’m gonna go read some of the info dog-com’s given to me and be productive, rather than sitting here typing about my problems and making myself feel all dejected. I mean, I’ve got a roof over my head, my dog’s cute, I love my job, and my belly’s full. Ain’t nothin’ here to complain about!

Big love, my babies. Stay warm!

In which school is TOTALLY cool, bitches!

Today at work I haven’t done so many trouble tickets because I still haven’t been trained on the whole billing side of things, but I got an excellent personalized lesson on RAID and general server health from dot-com, a lesson which came complete with IMed wisdom like this:

2:02:32 PM redux: RAID 5 — 4x146GB drives
2:02:39 PM redux: 3x146GB drives worth of storage
2:02:54 PM redux: raid 1 + raid 1 + raid 1
2:03:03 PM redux: 4x146GB drives in RAID10
2:06:20 PM redux: netstat -an |grep LISTEN
2:10:05 PM redux: shift – m
2:10:17 PM redux: shift p sorts by highest processor usage
2:13:53 PM redux: free -m
2:15:31 PM redux: sar -r
2:17:39 PM redux: ps aux | more
2:18:28 PM redux: pstree
2:20:38 PM redux: ps aux | grep nobody
2:24:24 PM redux: ssh-keygen -t dsa -b #
2:24:28 PM redux: to generate keypair
2:24:38 PM redux: inside of .ssh
2:26:01 PM redux: ssh networkredux.com -l user
2:26:06 PM redux: ssh user@box.com
2:26:21 PM redux: ssh user@pennsylvania.box.net
2:28:40 PM redux: cd .ssh
2:28:50 PM redux: cat id_dsa.pub
2:29:21 PM redux: pwd
2:29:27 PM redux: mkdir .ssh
2:29:39 PM redux: chmod 700 .ssh
2:29:59 PM redux: vi authorized_keys

Now, I realize that doesn’t look that cool ’cause it’s all out of context and shit, but believe me: ROCKASAURUS. Seriously. Geek City. I also have a list of crap to read. Plus my mom finally mailed my b-day card so I’ll have some cash soon. Yay!

In other news, my fucking PocketPC died — AGAIN — and took with it ALL MY DATA. (I haven’t been anywhere near my desktop machine in a month, so: no recent backup.) Fuck that thing! I’m throwing it out. Gah.

In which you check out my big-ass monitor.

This morning I reported to work at my new job. Here’s my desk:

This job rocks. I’m gonna love it here. I’ve already processed tickets and EVERYTHING! The coolest thing is that I already know how to do so some of it cold; so I don’t feel totally overwhelmed right off the bat. Now if I could just get used to Apple+C for copy instead of Ctrl+C I’d feel like I was really getting somewhere.

In which I partied Friday night and was useless the whole rest of the weekend ’cause I ain’t no spring chicken.

Friday night I went out and had drinks with dot-com and Widget. Eventually, I got really quite drunk. Later I ended up at an after-hours party and crashed on someone’s couch with a blanket and their dog. I didn’t make it home until the next afternoon.

Today I’m being lazy. I ate some of the chili I made last night. My laundry’s done. Right now I’m watching a show on Iptv about segregation. Truck’s about to go out with some guys and see a movie in Srottumwa; I think AmmZon’s probably gonna lie on the couch and be lazy too.

I’m so glad my new job starts tomorrow because I really need money. I have less than $5. Bindu really needs to be wormed and Frontlined, and I think she might need something for her left ear because she keeps scratching it. I’m not even going to mention all the bills I haven’t paid for months because what’s the fucking point of that?

Keef sent me some fantastic sci-fi last week, so I think I’ll go stick my head in a book.

In which it’s all just SUCH a pain in the ASS.

So I was gonna use a variation on this color scheme to redo goblinbox’s theme for fall.

I had to download an FTP client to backup the existing theme files, because there wasn’t one on Truck’s laptop.

Then I realized I wouldn’t be able to change the bkg color without editing the header image… but I can’t do that without some graphics software… which is in my warez folder out at the farm. And the original .png files for the header and other miscellaneous buttons and shit? On Bread’s laptop!

Probably. Or on a CD or thumbdrive somewhere.

Fuck, I hate having my data spread out all over the damn world like this! I’m keeping it all on the Internet from now on. Hurumph.

In which my birthday was pretty cool, and I have good news!

I partied my ass off all weekend, and I managed it on about $5. I went out both Friday and Saturday nights, and people bought me drinks and I stayed out crazy late and got lots of hugs and kisses and attention because it was my birthday weekend. I also read two pretty fab sci-fi books and gave myself a haircut. Sunday afternoon AmmZon made a delicious dinner — linguini, marinara, meatballs, garlic bread and a huge salad — and a friend of hers came over and we all ate and lounged around watching football. I went to bed early that night because I had an interview on Monday that I wanted to be fresh for.

My brother sent me a totally bitchin’ phone. It’s pink, has a really nice display, and unlike my other two phones it actually works! I love having a phone again. I LOVE MY BROTHER.

My interview got pushed to Tuesday. It was 96 degrees and I had no decent summer-weight clothes, so I drove out to the interview in a t-shirt and changed into a long-sleeved tailored dress shirt while sitting in my jeep in the parking lot. The interview was fun and I liked the people, but they didn’t really ask me very many of those legit interview questions I’d been prepared for, like, “What do you think your strengths and weaknesses are?” They didn’t make me an offer on the spot (even thought they’d sent me an email that made it sound like they were going to), but they did give me a 4-page NDA to read over and said they’d call me early next week when the finance guy was back in town and could be present for any hiring. They asked me if I could do payroll and A/P. I mean, they implied that they’d hire me next week, but it wasn’t openly said. I still don’t know what their product is because they don’t reveal that info until they hire someone and get a signed NDA. It’s a start-up; it had that new company buzz. One of the two men that interviewed me said he’d been involved in several start-ups over the years and that this one was the one that was going to break through.

After the interview, I changed back into my t-shirt, drove to AmmZon’s and took an afternoon nap. I woke up all logy because it was so freaking unseasonably hot and I’d been passed out upstairs, sweating and drooling, for a couple of hours. I went downstairs where it was cooler and got on the laptop. Network Redux IMed me and asked me to come over for a 15-20 minute interview at 5 o’clock.

I drove over and the 15 minute interview took over an hour; dot-com and I rapped and geeked out and had a great time. The job sounded even better than I’d originally thought. Dot-com is smart and laid back and really knows his shit, his company is solvent and growing, and if I worked there I’d get to enjoy a nice steep learning curve in a pleasant little office with a fast Internet connection and a window! Again I thought I was going to get an offer on the spot, but he walked me out and said he’d call me the next day. So sneaky. At the door we switched gears to social concerns. He asked if I was planning to go out and see Rockstar play at the Hideaway that night and suggested that if I was, I might call his wife and get her to go since he didn’t think she would go out without some female persuasion.

I went back to AmmZon’s and sat on the porch and texted Widget and read for awhile. I nagged her via texts until she agreed to go out, even though it was a Tuesday. I met her and dot-com at the bar at eight and we three sat and chatted. I hadn’t seen them socially since we met a few weeks before and I really like them a lot. Dot-com and I quickly fell into geek, and Widget, who was sitting between us, slowly started leaning back and grinning her “you guys are totally fucking geeking out” grin. “Ah, shit,” I laughed. “We’re dorking out on you! Let’s talk about something else!” She laughed and said it was okay, but we did eventually manage to change the subject. Rockstar arrived and started playing. Gorgeous and Baby Girl sat on the other side of dot-com. Eventually dot-com turned to Widget and said, “Do you think I can tell her now, or should I wait until tomorrow?”

Widget said, “She’s sitting right here you know, she can hear you!” We all laughed, and then he offered me a job on the spot. I accepted. I’m employed! I start Monday morning because that’s when the new computer he ordered for me will be there. I’m so excited! OMG, I have A JOB. With a brand new Mac mini to play with!

Throughout the evening, dot-com and I talked more and I think I’m really going to totally fucking dig this job. You’ve got to love a man who strives to provide excellent support but admits to occasionally “firing” evil customers who are impossible to support and who malign his employees on his support forums. He’s also got a full disclosure policy; I’m not only welcome to but practically encouraged to blog about my job. OMGWTFBBQ!!!

We closed the bar, stopped en masse at someone’s house, then left there and ended up at a cozy little after-hours at chez dot-com and Widget. They’ve got pugs and cats and a really cute house, and Rockstar brought his guitar and we all sat around and talked and sang and giggled and in general had a really groovy time. On a Tuesday! (I felt zero guilt because, hey! I’m still technically unemployed until Monday, so I figured I could rock out for no reason, since I won’t be doing it when I have to start actually waking up in the morning and doing things for a living.)

Did I mention that I HAVE A JOB???!??!??!?!?

In which my baby bother is the best baby brother ever!

So my brother told my mom that he wanted to help me out but I was too stubborn to tell him what he could do for me, so she emailed me and told me I was too stubborn and that I should let my brother help since I’m broke and homeless and jobless fer crying out loud, so I emailed her back and CC’d him and said, “Stubborn??!??! Fine! He can buy me a fucking cell phone then!”

So he did. My new Sprint Katana arrives tomorrow. I’ll post the number when I know what it is and then, and then, and then? Then you can all call me and, like, say stuff!

I love my baby bother.

In other news, when LISCO laid me off I put my iTunes library onto Bread’s laptop. This means I haven’t been able to manipulate the content on my iPod for a month now. However, the last version of SharePod not only lets you get content off of your iPod but to put content onto it as well. Yay!