In which I rant right at the whole entire blogosphere. Including myself.
Okay, so, my cred is that I’ve been blogging since before the word had even been coined. (Okay, not really, since it was coined in 1997. But still, I’ve been doing it for years.) Since I coded all my pages by hand. Since before I even knew what a CMS was.
Everybody blogs these days. Anyone can sign up for a free, easy-to-use account that allows them to post any damn thing they want on the Internet. This is totally awesome. But. Considering the diversity of human experience, I find it exhausting that at some point all bloggers start blogging about blogging.
I propose a ban on blogging about blogging! I hate blogging about blogging.
Bloggers worry endlessly – in posts! – about their content, about their motivation for blogging in the first place, about whether or not they’re boring their readers, about whether or not they’ll ever get any readers, about maintaining their integrity or their anonymity, about inspiration, about being an attention whore, about being indifferent or less than committed to the act of blogging.
To which I say: can’t we all just shut the fuck up about it, already? I don’t read you because I want to hear you agonize about your traffic numbers or your fears that nobody likes you: I read you because I already like you and I want you to continue being yourself! Blogging about blogging is boring to read. Blogging about blogging is non-content.
Posting that you feel boring is one thing; posting that your terminal boring-ness will somehow affect the balance of the Internet at large is absurdly vain.
In the interest of a better intarweb, here are a few guidelines I’m proposing. God knows I need to follow them myself:
- Don’t blog about blogging.
- Don’t blog about having nothing to blog and how it makes you suck as a blogger.
- Don’t blog about your lack of traffic.
- Don’t troll for compliments – be direct. If you want compliments, say, “I want compliments.” Don’t be all coquettish about it. I hate that passive/aggressive shit.
- Don’t troll for comments – be direct. If you want comments, say, “I want comments!” Don’t be all coquettish about it. I hate that passive/aggressive shit.
- Don’t blog about your motivation for blogging in the first place, unless you’re a damned good writer and have a really solid thesis.
- Don’t put your blog on a hiatus and then keep posting sporadically. There should be only two settings: on, and off.
- Don’t behave as if the act of blogging is a truly refined artform, unless you’re the proprietor of one of the Very Biggest Blogs Evah and have already earned the right to do so. What it is, is a journal. It’s not playing first chair violin in the London Philharmonic.
When I visit a blog, I want to read about whatever the author’s doing or thinking. I want to hear about your reaction to something that’s occurred, or read a funny or moving or embarassing story, or get your unique take on a topic. I do not want to see you blathering on incoherently about blogging, because it’s just not that complicated. Nor should it be that stressful. Nor should you use it to define yourself. Nor do I want to hear about how much you agonize over it.
We put ourselves on the ‘net because we are all to some degree wanting attention. Period. The creativity of self-expression is the smallest part of it. Let’s just acknowledge these truths, right along with the fact that none of us are really all that goddamned special, and move along merrily into the land of non-self indulgent blogging! Yeah!
*smooch*
~+~+~+~
More conversation:
Plus, really, blogging doesn’t even really exist.
gapingvoid: top ten reasons why nobody reads your blog
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Amen.
What about commenting for commenting’s sake? Like, y’know, I don’t think enough people read my comments. Maybe they’re boring or something. Maybe I should go on some sort of commenting hiatus until I can discover what my true commenting motivation is. Or maybe I will just comment that good commenting is an artform … kind of like blogging. but different.
I’m stopping now.
*chuckle*
ouch! guilty, guilty, guilty. i think i’m pretty much guilty in all accounts.
damn, now i hate myself more! and i’m commenting for commenting’s sake.
kill me now.
đŸ™‚
jake ~ oh honey, don’t be sad! I wasn’t in truth even thinking about you… I’d just visited another blog where the writer was waxing quasi-philosophical about the act of blogging, and the entry was just plain boring!
What do you mean? I’m special! đŸ™‚
What if the culture kicks in? Some people cannot be direct ever. It’s like sex. you want to get laid but you don’t put it in front but you send subtle signals. okay, i don’t know what I am talking about but you get the idea. đŸ™‚
Good day
I think EVERYONE who blogs has done this to some extent. I’m particularly guilty of #7.
wait.. there were numbers to these things? daamn.
To blog, or not to blog, that seems to be the question.
I think a certain amount of introspection on the matter is good: maybe it helps to direct focus on what they want their blog to be; I think worrying about traffic numbers or pissing off people or couching things in obscure ways to hide true motivations is weak and unnecessary. If you’re feeeling that way: enable comment moderation, remove site maps, web counters, etc., because clearly they are a distraction for you.
My 0.005 cent
Blogging isn’t a truly refined art form? Who died and made you Susan Sontag?
My bubble hath bursteth…
If you’ve ever seen a nervous actor or musician on stage, you know what it is that I was trying to say. A nervous performer makes her audience incredibly uncomfortable. It’s the most hideous thing to see: a performer who is afraid of performing.
The moral being: when you’re out there in front of people doing your thing, DO IT. With balls! Don’t hem and haw and shuffle your feet: just go for broke.
I think blogging about blogging draws me away from enjoying your online persona and makes me feel uncomfortable because it lets me see that you’re uncomfortable.
Does that make sense?
(“You” here being utterly generic.)
If blogging about blogging is dull,what does that say about blogging about blogging about blogging? Exponentially dull?
Actually no. Strange.
FWIW, I didn’t read this as a castigation to induce guilt, shame, remorse, etc. I read this as an exhortation to be our best blogging selves without shame or holding back–to renounce our fears and claim our voices, etc. etc. So quit apologizing, peeps.
Great exhorting, Mush. Keep it up.
what does that say about blogging about blogging about blogging? Exponentially dull?
Touche! THANK you! đŸ˜‰
I was just kiddin’… actually, I do understand where you’re coming from. We all have our unique tastes regarding what we like to read, and certainly we’re entitled to them. One of my pet peeves are those who ‘threaten’ to quit blogging because they ‘have nothing to write about’ or they’ve ‘lost the will to write’ or whatever sorry-ass excuse they come up with, then when the cavalcade of ‘oh no, don’t stop’ bullshit comes on full force, they acquiesce as if there’s really something valid they have to share with the rest of us in the first place. Man, I hate that shit…
I love blogging but I have nothing to say. And nothing to say about blogging. And the comments! “What pretty pictures”. Geese. How dull. Youse guys are boring me to death! Wish I had more of those.
But I hate that nobody is visiting my boring blog and clicking on those little, inoccuous but oh-so-interesting adverts on the side of my blog (thereby generating income money for me).
I suspect I’ll give up blogging because of that…
To see what I mean, please visit:
http://www.goblinbox.com/chaos
And click. Really, click away. I’m not allowed to click on them. Those ads draw me in, then push me away.
Thanks.
Oh, yeah. READ some of my damn blog too. Even if it’s boring. I haven’t posted in a while but I’ll put up a little something later today.
Let’s see, I think I broke 5 of Mush’s rules there. Not bad.
Only five? You should have tried harder.
*checks personal blog entries for offenses*
I think I’m clean. I appear to be dedicated to shamelessly pining for attention which, if I’ve understood you correctly, qualifies as honest and palatable blog content.
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