In which goblinbox hosts a guest post! Please welcome Pavlov as he gets something off his chest.
So I lived in texas for about 2 years, I had 2 girlfriends in that time(I had 2 married girls I was supposed to fuck but 1 I blew off completely, the 2nd I got arrested due to a suspended license before I got to her house) My first girlfriend was Nina, I loved her as much as a 20 something year old man can. We met online, talked alot through IRC(Internet Relay Chat) before meeting then began seeing each other in real life. Things were going great but one day I got a call from her telling me that she got drunk with her cousin and tried cocaine. With me I have very few things that are considered dealbreakers, but drugs are one of them. Pot I can deal with, I dont do it but if I was dating someone who did I wouldnt break up with her due to it. But nina, she was done for before I hung up the phone with her that day. It was a bit unfair for her since I never told her what the dealbreakers were but anyone with a nyquil cup full of common sense knows that your significant other isnt going to put up with that shit unless they’re into it too. Well, I was able to finally track her down via myspace and we talked. I still to this day love her, she still cares for me and I guess foolishly I was looking for an opening to restart from where we left off. I had my common sense screaming at the top of its lungs in my head that she will not want that, and that she just misses her friend. It was true, she told me that while she still had feelings for me that she just wants someone to listen to her. She said that if we tried a relationship again we’d just veinly try to recreate what we had when we were younger, not to mention that we’re very different people and probably incompatable. So today I had to tell her that I respect her views but I cant simply make my feelings go away and that everytime we talked that I’d be working to win her back. So I did the only thing I could do, I told her I was going to block her on MSN and delete her from myspace and I wasnt going to talk to her again. Why is it so hard to find love, I’m a romantic in that I believe that there is love out there that makes you ache to be with a person all the time, that you can call them just to hear them talk even though its about nothing at all. I also am an adult and realize that love isnt always rainbows and butterflies, there are fights, there are bad times but I believe the good times make anything else trivial. Now, I’m 30, with a kid. I’m also in a loveless relationship, and I’m not getting younger. I cant keep delaying my search for someone that gave me the same feelings that nina did. I dont know….but for now, I’m a little happier getting this off my chest.
Edit: I unblocked her, Live in the moment right? Here’s to new beginnings.
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Whoa… pretty deep. Thanks for sharing. I’ve had to turn away some people because of their drug use, and it’s sometimes been a difficult (but necessary) thing. Hopefully you’ll find the thing you’re looking for.
Thanks for guest posting! You’re my first guest-poster ever and I’m sooo pleased. Plus I love relationship stuff!
Two things:
Perhaps you could relax your standards a tad. I understand – oh boy do I – that being in a relationship with an addict sucks, but trying something out once or twice does not an addict make. People experiment. It’s normal.
You’ve denied the opportunity for a friendship because you’re intent on the idea of a relationship. Okay, I get that. But I humbly point out that you may be cutting off your nose to spite your face. Perhaps you think this woman’s your lifemate, but clearly she doesn’t agree… and yet you two still have a deep connection. Maybe you could consider letting it be what it is, letting it grow into its own rather than demanding it be what you believe you want, and will end up with something wonderful and valuable.
*smooch*
Why is it so hard to find love, you ask? Well, for one thing, let someone in bro! You dumped someone because they got drunk and experimented with something once? She was truthful and told you about it..felt remorse, etc and you let her down by dumping her.
Then you stalk her to try and get back together years later…I bet she’s still hurt from the first time. She says she can’t be friends and you block her out?
Dude..lighten up
Thanks for the advice everyone, as for Seth, I didn’t stalk her. I simply looked for her on myspace, found her and sent a friends request. She’s admitted to me during our talks that she’d been looking for me for years now. I guess missing something that was and trying to get it back qualifies me as a stalker. Luckily she’d done the same so we’re made for eachother.