In which Minneapolis twitter is enthusing about “Spring,” but, having lived somewhere better, I can state unequivocally that what passes for spring here is a weak-ass attempt at what can be a glorious season.

“Spring” here is brown and ugly. You can only tell it’s spring because of the slightly sweeter air, and the sudden return of birdsong (which happened about 45 hours ago).

Nothing green wakes up until late April or May because the chance of a killing freeze—it was 25F overnight—is too great.

I took this picture about an hour ago:

That’s crap. Not only is there still snow in the shade, but it’s both ugly and below freezing.

Meanwhile, friends from my hometown, which is even higher in latitude, are posting pics like this:

Spring 🌱🌸☀️ #WallaWalla

A post shared by Horte Coleman (@lovelyhorte) on Mar 24, 2019 at 8:25am PDT

Minneapolis is nice, I guess, but goddamn I want to move back home.