I woke up sick again this morning, for the 11th day in a row. We, and I use the royal, were not pleased.

So I called Medical Arts and talked to a nurse. I tried to get her to just give me antibiotics, but no – I had to go into the office so they could weigh me, look in my ears, feel my tonsils, and charge me $51.00 for the priviledge.

My appointment was at 9:40 AM. I was back in the Jeep, exiting their parking lot at 9:59. FIFTY-ONE DOLLARS?!?!?

I guess you have to be friends with your clinic for them to call in script for you without seeing you. I know they did it for my mom once or twice when I was a kid… of course, I had chronic bronchitis way back then so it wasn’t like there was any question of what I required: codine cough syrup and antibiotics.

I suppose your average 35-year-old can’t tell for sure if she’s got a sinus infection, so by gosh we’d better look in her ears!

My doctor doesn’t impress me as being particularly bright, either, although he is terribly good natured and friendly.

At DrugTown I picked up my first Western meds in years: $12 worth of generic antibiotics. I’ve only taken one so far and I don’t feel at all better. The literature tells me to drink lots of water, so I’ve been drinking lots of water.

Recently I went to make myself some snot-clearing herbal tea with echinacea in it, but noticed the flame looked weird. I turned off the offending burner and tried another. The flames were flickery and more yellow/orange than blue

Damn it.

So I waddled out to the LP tank and flipped back the top to read the guage: 10%.

Damn it.

I pulled the bill and it said I owe them $187. I checked my register and I gave those people $125 on the 25th of March.

I have my LP co-op in my cell’s phonebook, so I called them up:

Her: Farmer’s Co-op.
Me: Ah — (rattling phlegm)
Her: What was that?
Me: Two things. (more phlegm) First, my tank’s at 10% and I need fuel like three days ago. Second, I paid last month but it doesn’t show on my bill.
Her: Last name?
Me: Mook. M – O – O – K. Mook, rhymes with book. Probably under “Brett.”
Her: Okay, Mrs. Mook (said to rhyme not with book but with touque), no, you’re actually overpaid. Does the bill say 131 on it?
Me: Um… (glancing around for the bill I know is in another room) yeah.
Her: There’s a little minus sign next to it. That means it’s positive.
Me: Oh?
Her: A positive balance.
Me: (cough, hack, sniffle, sneeze)
Her: And what else?
Me: My tank is at 10%, the flame on my stove is all yellow.
Her: LP tank?
Me: Yeah. (like, what are we talking about here?!)
Her: Well that’s a good indicator you’re out!
Me: I checked the gauge and I need fuel.
Her: Okay, I’ll call {guy’s name I can’t remember} and it’ll be today or tomorrow, but definitely before Monday.
Me: Cool, thanks. (hack, cough)

Now I’m wondering… I thought they put us on budget in order to avoid having to pressure-check tanks when dumb asses like me failed to monitor their gauges. But if I’m calling them for fuel, then apparently they aren’t coming without a call. Which means we only used one tank of LP all winter. Is that even possible?

And more importantly, does 10% mean 10%? Or does it mean “It was 10% a few days ago and I’m not sensitive enough to register below 10% pressure.” In other words: can I cook dinner or will I run entirely out of gas?

Die, you nasty little bacteria, you’re making my sinuses hurt and I’m tired and I’ve been sick so long without it getting any better that I’ve actually become grumpy about it. Rar!
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