Category Archives: Recipes

Salsa

…this is such a great batch of salsa, guys.

In a non-stick pan, heat until shimmering:

1 tsp. oil

Add:

10 dried red chiles, stems removed
1 small white onion, quartered
2-3 cloves of garlic

Roast over high heat until charred and fragrant.

Into a blender, pour:

1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes and their juice
1 tsp. salt, or to taste

Add the roasted vegetables, and blend to desired texture.

Buddha’s Delight

…I attempted Chinese food!

SAUCE:
sesame oil
soy sauce
rice vinegar
ginger
garlic
red pepper flakes
vegetable/mushroom broth
corn starch & water

VEGETABLES:
baby bok choy
red pepper
onion
carrots
mushrooms
broccoli

CRISPY TOFU:
tofu
corn starch
salt & pepper

SIDE:
brown rice
scallions
sesame seeds

1. Cook brown rice in water with salt.

2. Cube tofu and toss in corn starch, salt, and pepper, and fry in a non-stick pan with oil or ghee. Set aside.

3. In a small bowl, whisk together the first 6 sauce ingredients. Put 1/2 c. of vegetable broth in a handy cup. Whisk cool tap water with corn starch.

4. Stir fry the harder vegetables in the wok in a little oil. When jst starting to soften, add the rest of the vegetables and broth and toss. Cover and allow to steam briefly.

5. When the vegetables are crisp-tender, add the sauce and bring to a brief boil until thickened. Remove from heat and toss until evenly coated.

6. Serve over brown rice with the fried tofu and garnished with scallions and sesame seeds.

Green Tahini Dressing

…when there’s some spinach you need to use up before it goes bad, you can make this awesome salad dressing!

It’s basically the following, in whatever proportions you’re feeling, in a blender: raw spinach, fresh parsley, a clove of garlic, tahini paste, water, lime juice (or lemon), olive oil, salt, and pepper.

Salsa Roja Recipe

…restaurant-style smooth red salsa is awesome and you totally want some so here’s one OF APPROXIMATELY EIGHT BILLION WAYS to make some for your face to eat.

1 28 oz. can whole peeled tomatoes with juice
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1/2 medium white onion, diced
2-3 large cloves of garlic, chopped
1 large jalapeno, seeded and chopped
1 tsp. chile pequin, or more to taste
1/2 – 1 tsp. ground cumin, to taste
1/2 tsp. coarsely ground black pepper, or 1/4 tsp. regular grind
1/2 lime, juiced, or about 1/2 tsp. cider vinegar
salt to taste

Heat the oil in a pan over low-medium heat Add the onion, jalapeno, and garlic, and sautee for three minutes. Add the chile pequin, cumin seeds, and pepper. Sautee for another 2-3 minutes. Remove from heat.

Add the sauteed mixture to the chopped tomatoes and puree — in a blender, food processor, or with an immersion blender — until smooth. Add any remaining tomato juice, lime juice, and salt. Adjust seasonings and serve with tortilla chips.

Notes: 1-Most of these measurements are ballpark; I think I used more oil and less pepper, but whatever, I was winging it. Everything is to taste. 2-You can add a few pinches of dried oregano or epazote if you want to. 3-You can also roast some or most of the ingredients for added deliciousness — the jalapeno, for example, would be great roasted — if you’re feeling energetic.

Cheesy broccoli & tofu pot pie

In which I made a pot pie! My first ever! And lo, it was good stuff!

From December 23, 2014.

Crust

• 1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) cold salted butter, diced
• 3-5 tablespoons iced water

1. Using fingers, rub the butter and flour together until no piece of butter is larger than a pea.
2. Add 3 tablespoons of iced water and mix.
3. Continue adding water if needed until the dough just barely holds together. It will look ragged.
4. Turn the dough out onto the counter. Form dough into a disk, wrap tightly in plastic, and refrigerate until firm, at least an hour (preferably 3) or overnight, or freeze for up to a month.

Notes: After dicing the butter, put it into a bowl and keep in the freezer until both are very cold, about ten minutes or so. You can also chill the flour if the weather is warm. Iced water must be literally iced, not just cold tap.

(Adapted from www.marthastewart.com/891257/classic-chicken-potpie.)

Filling

• 1 medium potato, diced
• 1 large carrot, diced, about 2/3 cup
• 1 small crown broccoli, cut into small florets, about 1-1/2 cup
• 2/3 (14-ounce) package firm tofu, preferrably frozen, thawed, and squeezed dry, cut into small cubes
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 cup half and half, warmed
• 1/2 c. of the water the veggies were simmered in
• 1/2 (8- ounce) package shredded cheddar
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• salt & pepper to taste
• Pinch of cayenne

1. Bring a pot of water to a boil. Add the potato to the boiling water, reduce to a simmer, and cook for 10 minutes.
2. Add carrots to the potatoes and cook for 2 more minutes.
3. Add the broccoli and cook for 4 more minutes. Turn off heat.
4. Melt the butter over low heat. Add the garlic and cook for 2 minutes. Stir in the flour and cook for 1 minute.
5. Slowly whisk in the half and half and broth and continue whisking until mixture is smooth.
6. Turn heat up to medium and whisk frequently as sauce thickens, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat.
7. Add cheese, paprika, salt, and cayenne. Stir until cheese melts. Add salt and pepper.
8. Fold in the tofu and drained veggies.

(Adapted from chezcayenne.com/2014/03/vegan-broccoli-cheese-pot-pie/.)

Assembly & Baking

1. Place the filling in a 1-1/2 quart casserole dish.
2. Roll out the dough to 1/8″ thickness and trim to a size that will overhang the edges of the casserole slightly. Lift the dough onto the casserole and roll the edges under, making an edge as you go. Cut steam vents in the crust.
3. Bake in a 350° oven (on a cookie sheet) until golden brown and bubbly, 45 – 55 minutes.
4. Remove from oven and let rest for 10 – 15 minutes. Serve.

Makes 4-6 servings.

Black bean and lime soup

In which this soup came out PERFECTLY DELICIOUS.

Black Bean and Lime Soup

4 Tbsp. olive oil
1 onion, white, diced
1 bell pepper, red, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 rib celery, chopped
1 jalapeno, minced
2 cups broth
3 cans black beans
2 tsp. apple cider vinegar
1/2 tsp. cumin
1/4 tsp. coriander
1/2 tsp. chili powder
1 bay leaf
salt & pepper, to taste
hot sauce, to taste
lime juice, to taste

Put a few tablespoons of oil into the bottom of a pan. Add onion, jalapeno, red bell pepper, garlic, and celery. Sautee until soft.

Add 2 cups of broth, two cans of drained and rinsed black beans, spices, and apple cider vinegar. Simmer until tender. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

Puree soup in a blender or food processor. Return to pan, add final can of drained and rinsed black beans. Heat. Adjust seasoning with salt, pepper, and hot sauce.

To serve, add lime juice and garnish with sour cream, avocado, tomato, and/or cheese.

If you freeze this soup, withhold lime juice until serving time.

Chili Gravy for Enchiladas

In which this is the restaurant-style enchilada sauce recipe you’ve been looking for!

Or at least it’s the one I’ve been looking for, for, like, ten years.

This recipe makes a mild but rich chili gravy absolutely perfect for the traditional Tex Mex cheese & onion enchilada. It’s also remarkably thick, but you can thin it with water to the desired consistency.

Enchilada Gravy

1/3 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1-1/3 Tbsp. chile powder (I use ground ancho chile powder rather than American chili powder, which is a blend and cannot be trusted, but use what you have)
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. garlic powder
2 tsp. salt, or to taste
1⁄4-1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
3-4 (or more) cups water (depends on your flour)

Cook the oil and flour together over low heat until the flour is no longer raw, at least five minutes, whisking frequently. It will be a very thick paste. Add the chili, cumin, and garlic powders and stir.

Add water, salt & pepper and whisk until smooth. Simmer over low flame for at least 15 minutes to marry flavors.

This makes a lot of gravy. Freeze the rest for next time!

Adapted from:
www.food.com/recipe/authentic-tex-mexican-enchiladas-116046

Notes: This gravy doesn’t come back together after freezing until it reaches boiling. Just keep whisking it and adding small amounts of water; it’ll eventually stop looking like weird Jello!

Taco Bell red sauce

In which I found this recipe online somewhere and it’s fantastic.

This is the red sauce Taco Bell uses in their bean burritos and on their enchiritos.

Copycat Taco Bell Sauce

1 8-oz can tomato sauce
1/3 cup water
1/4 tsp chili powder
1 1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp onion powder
1 tbsp white vinegar
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp garlic salt
1/4 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

Combine and simmer for 15 minutes.

It’s delicious.

Super Cheesy Mac ‘n’ Cheese

In which there’s white trash refined carbs!

This is what

There are a lot of ways to make macaroni and cheese. Most of them are stupid, if you’re tryna get a meal on the table and not fuck with getting a bunch of extra dishes dirty, because they want you to do shit like make white sauces and bake things in the oven.

Here’s a quick one-pot version. It’s fantastic.

Mac ‘n’ cheese

1 c. uncooked macaroni
a big pot of boiling water with salt, a Bay leaf, and a glug of olive oil in it
1 Tbsp. butter
1/3 c. heavy cream
1 c. shredded cheddar
2 slices of American cheese
a pinch or so each of powdered garlic and onion powder, to taste
1/4 tsp. paprika
salt & pepper

Boil macaroni 6-8 minutes, or to package instructions and your taste. Drain. Discard Bay leaf. Return to pot.

Add the butter and heavy cream. Stir, until butter is melted, to coat. Add the cheeses and stir until they melt. Add the garlic, onion, and paprika.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Serve immediately with a bunch of other delicious shit!