Category Archives: Play

Sundays Are For Shopping

In which yes, as a matter of fact, I *will* shop for food.

Drivin' to ICTruck needed some devices, so he called me for a day trip to Iowa City because if you wanna buy electronics? I’m yer bitch! We got out of town around noon, and AmmZon drove us straight to Best Buy like the speed demon she is.

Laptop, laptop case. Printer/scanner/copier. Digital camera. Cables, memory cards. Check.

I had him buy a display model laptop because it was the most bang for his buck, so we had to wait for them to remove their security software from the machine. Truck took me out to Olive Garden for my trouble and we all ate ourselves into a coma. Yum.

Back to Best Buy to pick up the laptop (and make fun of the staff), back in the car, buzz back to Fairfield. Whee!

I got dropped off at band practice. We had a great rehearsal; everyone was in a good mood and the temp drummer is getting up to speed nicely. After, GSW dropped me at Ray’s, and then she and I walked up to Truck & AmmZon’s so I could get Truck’s new Toshiba laptop on the neighbor’s wireless network connection. (He’d called and said he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t get the thing on the Internet, a sentiment I can totally get behind.)

Which brings me to now: I’m sitting with Ray and AmmZon, drinking a much-needed glass of water, blogging from Truck’s new machine. Damn I love the Internet.

In other news, I really need to drink more water. I’ve been totally off my water cure for weeks and weeks and weeks now. Hydration is where it’s at, people.

Saturdays Are For Recovering

In which I learn a valuable lesson about stress and partnership, and a Friday that goes all the way into Saturday morning!

After work last night, I went and had that nice cold cocktail. Yum. Then I jumped into the BBT and drove myself home, windows down, NPR on the radio. Friday! The weekend! Yes!

I decided to go through the mail immediately when I walked in the door. I’d been intending to do it for two weeks, and there was a massive pile of it on the laundry table that I’d been studiously ignoring. I figured if I left it, it would continue to not get done.

Bread came in and we had our usual ‘how was your day?’ conversation. He helped me sort the actual mail from the garbage. [We get mail by the metric ton these days, I swear to God. I even opted out a few years ago, but someone seems to have bought us subscriptions to Consumer Reports and Atlantic Monthly magazines and now we’re back on all the lists. It’s a nasty waste, all that paper.] When I found the bills, I opened them up and added the couple I’d missed to my spreadsheet and showed it to Bread.

“So what’s this?” he asked, reading.

“The bills. The money we need.”

“Hrm. Well, here’s a start,” he said, and handed me a hundred dollar bill. “The mortgage is paid?”

“Yup. This list is just bills, though, no food or gas or smokes or anything!”

“Uh, yeah, I see that.” He grinned at me. “Quit stressing! It’s not even as bad as I’d thought. I’ll handle it. Now, wanna go have a cocktail at the Hideaway?”

And that was it. Gorgeous was right. She’d told me the day before to share the burden with my partner, that that’s what they’re for. So I did, and he said he’d handle it, and he will because that’s what he does. And now I’m not freaked about it any more.

The man actually laughed at me. I’d gotten myself all worked up about it, had been mulling it over for days and days… you see, I do all the bookkeeping: I open the mail, I write all the checks, I pay all the bills. Naturally I have something of a running total in my head, and so I start stressing much earlier than necessary… I think the man actually found it amusing that I’d gotten into a funk about money.

Bastard. (This is the man who has said to me on more than one occasion, “If you’re worried about money, you’ve got nothing to worry about. You can always get more money.”)

Then we went right back to town. We parked at BoSe’s house, walked through the incredibly packed ‘downtown’ area of Fairfield. (It was Art Walk with some kind of Italian Days theme. The square was SRO and there was no parking anywhere.) We had drinks at the Hideaway and started passing out invitations to the barn party. Bread spoke with BoSe a couple of times. Eventually we were tipsy and hungry so we went in search of food.

Every restaurant on the square was SRO. I decided I wanted Los Portales, so we walked over. They were closed. At 8:31 on a Friday night. I was starving and hot and pissed off and nagged Bread into walking two more blocks to University Amoco, which has a new Mexican restaurant called Guadelejara in it. ALSO CLOSED. By then I was hot, pissed off, and my feet hurt ’cause I wasn’t wearing walking shoes. I monstered on Bread a little. He asked me why the hell I was taking my shit out on him, and I said, “What the fuck! You do it to me all the time!” and started marching back up Second street.

We ended up at Torino’s. They’ve updated their menu, so I had ‘manicotti’ and a side salad. It wasn’t brilliant, but it wasn’t pizza either. After that, I felt so much better.

We went next door to the Dead Cock and stayed there partying until one in the morning. Well, Bread left at one — we had a fight in the parking lot first, of course — I stayed and closed the bar. Ray had a little after-hours at her house; we left the bar right after last call and did a whirlwind tidying-up at her place. (It wasn’t dirty. She’d said it was a sty, but basically all we did was tidy things up, take out the trash, and light incense!) It was a fairly small after-hours; bigger than she’d wanted or expected, but not huge. I tried to crash a couple of times but both times she came and found me and asked me what I was doing!

Around four, she told the few remaining stragglers that she was going to bed and threw them out. Then she and I settled for some girl talk, but I basically fell asleep on one of her kids’ bunkbeds. I can’t do that all night shit very well any more.

She woke me up at eight. (Groan.) I sat in her kitchen trying to wake up while she chatted cheerfully about her kids and family and sucked down three cups of black coffee in less that eight minutes. (Ray is so fucking cool.) Then we hopped in her new car — she traded in that monstrous grocery getter for a late 90’s Saab — made a deposit at my bank and headed out of town.

She dropped me off at home before nine, then headed for Ottumwa to pick her man up. I fed the dogs, grabbed the Frapuccinos I’d bought and a glass of ice and headed for the bedroom. My man was sleeping, so I stripped and got in with him. He woke up, we, ah, ‘greeted’ each other, nudge nudge wink wink, then he got up and I went to sleep.

I got up at two, put on a bikini, made tostadas, lounged on the porch in the sun. Ray threatened to swing back by on her way back from Ottumwa tonight. Other than that, no plans. Maybe clean the barn. Go swimming. Eh. It’s Saturday, I don’t have to do shit if I don’t want to! Yay!

Barn Party

06/06/06 UPDATE:
THE BARN PARTY HAS BEEN CANCELLED.
BREAD AND MUSH WILL BE OUT OF TOWN.
WE’LL HAVE A PARTY WHEN WE GET BACK, WE PROMISE. SORRY!
————————————————————–

In which the party is officially announced!

We’ll be having a barn party on Saturday, June 17th. Be there or be somewhere else!

WHY YOU SHOULD COME:

  • There might be a keg. Or two.
  • You can BBQ. Bring your own grillables! (Bring a side dish to share, too, if you’re able.)
  • Live music! We present the following bands: House 11. Maybe the Jefferson County Green Band, I haven’t asked ’em yet.
  • Bonfire! (You can bring something to burn. We prefer couches and very dry Christmas trees.)
  • Camping! (Don’t drive drunk! Pitch a tent, stay the night. We’ll figure something out for breakfast when the time comes.)
  • Swimming!
  • Fishing, even!
  • Free parking!

IMAG0043

WHO IS INVITED:

  • You! You can come.
  • You can also come if you’re a canine, but you will probably get absolutely lousy with ticks and fleas as the little fuckers are everywhere this spring, but you will have too much fun to notice mere parasites. Please don’t come if you’re an uncut male, though.
  • You can come if you are not a human nor a canine, but a chicken. You may get eaten by a canine, though, so watch out!
  • You can come if you are a minor, but you can’t drink. (Minors who arrive already drunk will absolutely piss me off to no end, and will probably find themselves forcibly denied the keys to their vehicles until they are horrifically, awfully, totally stone cold sober.)
  • You can come if you are not a human nor a canine nor a chicken, but I’m not sure we’ll have appropriate refreshment for your species. So do as we do: pack it in, pack it out! We hope you like live music! (But any fusion bottles or gravity generators you happen to leave lying around we’ll keep. By the way, we’d really appreciate it if you could refrain from eating the humans and/or the canines, at least during the live music anyway.)

WHERE:

  • Driving directions from 2nd & Burlington in Fairfield to our place. Call if you get lost.

Perfect Lemondrop Martini

In which we make a delicious drink, class. Do pay the closest attention.

Lemondrop Martini

Ingredients:
juice of 2 lemons
3 oz. vodka
2 oz. simple syrup
ice

Procedure:
lemontini1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice.
3. Add lemon juice, vodka, and simple syrup.
4. Shake vigourously.
5. Strain into martini glasses rimmed with sugar, garnish with a twist.

You may need to adjust your mix slightly depending on the tartness/juicyness of your lemons.

Serves 2.

Simple Syrup

In a small sauce pan, bring 1 c. sugar and 1 c. water to a rolling boil. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

You can store it in the fridge for a bit, but it does tend to mold quickly if you leave it out. Best to make it fresh before your party.

Lazy Girl Version

After the first dozen lemons, I got bored of the procedure and started making my lemondrops in a pitcher instead of in a cocktail shaker, pouring them into my guests’ glasses complete with ice. On a hot day folks drink them fast enough that the ice doesn’t have much time to melt and weaken the drink.

Technorati:

Anniversary the 5th

In which we celebrate a milestone!

Today is our fifth wedding anniversary.

5thanni
BoSe arranged an impromptu barbeque. People came out to the farm. We ate, we butchered 24 lemons in pursuit of the perfect lemondrop martini, we socialized.

Eight dogs ran around rolling in dead things and barking and humping each other (two of the bitches were in heat).

Bread mowed a path to the triangle pond. At dusk, I swam naked with AmZon while NLW sat on the floating dock.

After dark, we lazed on the porch drinking and smoking. A kamakazi junebug kept putting the single candle out. A few folks left. I got out my guitar and sang a few songs in the dark. The frongs sang in the round pond. AmZon raided the freezer for shots of Jagermeister.

Now everyone’s lazy and mellow, lounging on the porch and chatting.

It was a great day.

Direction and Dinner

In which I’m getting advised.

I’m working on an all-new look for the site and it’s all I care about. It’ll be brown! And retro! Can I get a hell yeah?

Tonight I’m going to be spirtually advised. NLW is gonna graduate from her Spiritual Advisor program this weekend, but only if she gets in one last session. And that session? Is me! Good thing my spiritual life lately is about as lush as the Sahara; she’ll have tons of fun with me.

I’m in it for the meal she’s offered to buy me afterward. But y’all already knew I’m a whore like that.

In other news, the goslings have hatched. Bread called me this afternoon to tell me there are now five babies in the front pond, and I bet mom and dad goose are glad to finally get off that damned nest.

I'm Too Old For This Shit

In which I partied like it was 1999: all. night. long.

Friday I rolled out of work at five and went straight to Amazon Blonde’s, where I made the Most Brilliant Batch of Pico de Gallo Ever while she made some really incredible guacamole. Then I smoked a cig with Truck on the back deck and he told me about insurance adjusting school.

I went home to get Bread. He wanted to get him some nookie but I didn’t want to give it to him, so he sulked for awhile we didn’t get to the party for two hours.

When we did arrive, the party was in full swing. I sat and grazed on yummy food for awhile, then Ray poured me a cup of her delicious sangria. Both Ray and Gorgeous are totally stoved up; Ray has a ruptured disc and Gorgeous was in that horrible car accident and they’re both in constant pain… they move with a kind of intentional delicacy that makes me feel bad for them.

Eventually the party moved to the bar. I went with Ray and Gorgeous on a few errands — to get Mother’s b-day present from Gorgeous’ house, drop by Ray’s so she could get cash, buy myself cigarettes — and we arrived at the bar sometime around eleven. We started with shots of tuaca.

Eventually the rest of Amazon Blonde’s party arrived as well. We did the bar thing: sit here, sit there, stand in line for the bathroom, stand in line for drinks, socialize socialize socialize. It was loud and packed and fun.

My favorite image is of Amazon Blonde, sitting at the bar, cuddly drunk and cute, with an empty sangria container in her arms. She was diligently eating all the fruit out of the bottom. She was surrounded by people who kept bumping into her and jostling her, but she was quietly focused on getting her hand into the jar and her hand to her mouth. Bread ended up taking her home later. I haven’t spoken to her, but I’d imagine she was hung as hell the next day. Continue reading I'm Too Old For This Shit

Cinqo de Mayo

In which I get presents for no reason, and plan to go to a party.

Last night my band had it’s first practice in weeks. The drummer’s still in California, and the bass player didn’t make it, but the four of us who were there had a vocal rehearsal that was worth the time.

One of the guitar players, PJK, had just returned from a business trip to China. He brought gifts back for BvB and me! It was like Christmas. He gave each of us an embroidered silk purse, three kinds of tea, a little carved cinnabar rouge pot, a necklace & bracelet set, and a silk bath robe. I’m so in love with my new black silk robe I can hardly stand myself. It was so nice of him to bring us presents.

cinqo de mayoIn other news, tonight is Amazon Blonde‘s Cinqo de Mayo party. I’ll be heading over there immediately after work to make pico de gallo. She’s making guacamole and frying up some bull testicles. (Yes, you read that right. Testicles. From bulls. Who are now steers.) We bought chips, salsas, beans, and chorizo. There will be margaritas and mojitas. Ray’s bringing tapas and sangria. AB’s expecting twenty people or more.

I’m really excited… a party! I just hope I can stay awake long enough to get drunk. I haven’t slept well the past two nights and am pretty much exhausted. A nap right now would be soooo sweet. *zzzzZzzzzzZzzzz….*

Shopping for Mexican

In which we prepare for Friday’s par-tay.

Saturday Bread and I went to town and had McDonald’s for breakfast. I know, I know. Don’t say anything.

Then we went to the vet’s and bought Frontline for the animals. Then we bought kibbles for the animals. Hundred and ten bucks right there. (Next time, we’re getting gerbils. I swear to God, three dogs and a cat’s a habit more expensive than drugs.) Then home.

I had a lunch date with NLW at noon-thirty, but I was totally late and the poor woman was starving when I got there. She fed me spinach pesto and we drank the six dollar bottle of wine I’d brought. Somehow during the course of the afternoon I spent sixty bucks on yarn, needles, and a pattern — I’ll be knitting this in a week or so. My first sweater! Hopefully starting it in May will mean I’ll actually be wearing it by next winter. (I’m still knitting the Fuzzyfeet my mother requested last Thanksgiving.)

I stopped at the store for a few things afterward and was home a little after five. Bread talked me into going back to town for the third time that day, and we ate dinner at the Dead Cock. It was slow in there, mellow and quiet. We watched South Park and went home.

Today I slept ’til ten. (Yes!) When I got up, Bread was doing laundry. Then we went to Nanner’s house, and Bread cooked breakfast. I have no idea why he cooked breakfast; he just did. He made asparagus, tomato, and onion omelettes with hash browns. It was awesome.

Nanner gave me an office chair. When we got home, I cleaned my office and the bedroom and swept the parts of the second storey that aren’t actually under construction. Bread brought my new chair in. IT ROLLS. I love it. It’s a totally legit office chair! It has arm rests and it’s adjustable and everything. It’s possible that I’ve never been happier about a chair in my entire life.

Amazon Blonde and Truck came out; Truck stayed here and AB and I went to ScrOttumwa to do our Cinqo de Mayo shopping at the big goddamned community-killer they call Super Wal-Mart. It’s so fuckin’ cheap I feel dirty — and not in a good way — whenever I go there: we bought a cart full of stuff and it only cost $66. And $22 of that was for the half-gallon of namebrand rum we’d bought!

I know their prices will pop back up to average after they’ve killed all the older, smaller grocery stores in town, but for now? You just can’t get shit cheaper anywhere else. (Plus their Mexican — excuse me, Hispanic — food selection is much broader than any of Fairfield’s stores.)

After shopping, AB and I stopped at the Tom-Tom Tap for cocktails and a gossip. It was lovely. Love the Tom-Tom.

Later, at home, I folded Bread’s laundry (in order to empty the dryer so I could wash and dry my own clothes) and Bread did the dishes. If the fucker’s not careful, I’m going to start believing him soon when he says he’s actually learned to be a decent roommate.

In other news, I had goblinbox moved over to the new server, but then Keef had an interaction with the new server’s support/billing departments that was so scary and wrong it just boded badly for the whole enterprise and he dropped that whole thing like it was hot and got a server elsewhere. So I have to move the whole goddamned site again, but it’s nine o’clock on Sunday night and I ain’t drivin’ to town to do it now, and I sure as hell ain’t doing it over dial-up from home.

In short, there may be outages tomorrow in goblinboxland. But rest assured, my babies, that mamma’ll be workin’ on it.

Drunk as a Skunk

In which I get absolutely shitty, for no reason whatsoever.

Sunday I was sitting at my computer loading crap onto my newly resurrected Pocket PC when I heard Bread yell, “Mush!” Since it’s so like him to sit on his ass on the couch and yell for me to come to him when he wants to say something, I ignored him for awhile. Then curiosity got the better of me and I walked downstairs.

“Lunch. La Hacienda,” he said.

“When?” I asked.

“Now.”

“Who?” I countered.

“KR, BoSe, Truck, Amazon Blonde. Hot Lips and his girlfriend. Maybe some other people.”

“The whole fam damily, then?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, gimmie one sec.” And I ran upstairs to get my stuff from my desk and find my Birks.

We drove to the restaurant and drank margaritas and laughed and ate and had a grand old time, then we adjourned to the new bar. (When a new bar opens, it’s a red letter event in this town. There are so few places to go, that the news of the addition of a new one causes months of anticipatory gossip.)

the new barAt the new bar, I started drinking lemonade & vodka. I have no idea how many drinks I had.

I had a great time, old friends were there, I made a new friend in Hot Lips’ woman, and my glass was always full. I’m pretty sure Big Daddy (the bartender) bought me a round. I know my new best GF bought me a shot of jager, and I was drunk enough that I actually did the shot. I would never do that sober, believe you me.

Then Bread made me leave. THANK GOD. We got drive-thru from Taco Hell and I considered puking out the window of his truck at least twice on the drive home.

When we got home, I’m pretty sure I threw up twice before passing out by 6:30. I woke up at midnight and ate some of my drive-thru food. (Note: if you leave Nachos Bell Grande in the fridge for five hours? it basically turns into a big soft taco with plasti-chee.) I drank several glasses of water and went back to bed.

At five this morning I had two glasses of water and went back to bed.

At nine this morning I had a glass of water, IMed work to tell them I’d be late, ate most of a soggy Seven Layer burrito, and went back to bed.

At one thirty this afternoon, I IMed work to tell them I was a stupid piece of shit who wouldn’t be making it in after all, had two glasses of water and two glasses of Tang, updated my blog, and went back to bed.

Bread thinks this whole thing is extremely funny. Probably because he’s not still drunk and his head’s not fucking pounding!