This fascinates me. If you go to MSN Search and type in a certain string of words, THIS BLOG IS IN THE NUMBER ONE SPOT.

And I mean this whole blog – not some sub-page, but the main page itself! Which has different content all the time!

People must hate me. I think MSN Search might be the most useless search engine there is. Most of the people who end up here in error come from MSN Search because it will list my site when it contains all the words in the string, even if they’re on totally different posts.

* go to the chiropractor
* cut my toenails
* pluck my eyebrows
* quit eating fried foods
* drink even more water
* do more yoga
* get my teeth cleaned
* learn to fucking floss on a regular basis
* balance my checkbook
* write to my mom, grandmother, and aunts
* pay off my fucking credit cards
* take a nap
* buy more chamomile tea
* buy some valerian
* file my nails
* get my nose pin cleaned at a jeweler’s (or buy some jewelry cleaner)
* have my wedding ring re-sized (it’s too big)
* buy something to read (I’ve read all the treeware in my house, and all I have on my PPC is erotica I’ve already read… like a year ago)
* pay our mortage & May balloon payment
* go grocery shopping
* wash the blue dog, who stinks to high heaven
* clean the shower
* dust for cobwebs
* replace blown fuses in the Jeep
* wash something to wear to the gig tomorrow night

Since my dad has been here, he’s fixed the Playstation, the X-box, my Apple headphones, the washing machine, and a bunch of other crap. He even tried to get the water pump off the old Ford.

Now he’s bored.

I will totally send him to your house to fix your broken shit, all for a very reasonable $45 an hour (for me) plus all the beer he can drink (for him).

Any takers?

My adranaline issues have been practically absent for the past few weeks… until last night. I mean, I’ve had extremely mild episodes of symptoms, but nothing worth mentioning.

Around 10:30 PM I felt a huge lurch in my chest and I became dizzy and utterly freaked out. I actually put my finger to my neck to see if I still had a pulse. I did, of course, but it was rapid as hell. I went from drowsily drifting off to sleep to TOTALLY freaked out, sweating, antsy, and uncomfortable – in less than a quarter second!

Ugh. Here we go again. This is so not fair.

I was really tired but WAY too amped to sleep, so I got up and wandered around the house. I paced, drank water, did yoga, knitted a few rounds, paced some more.

I finally got to sleep, but I woke up every time Mr. Brett moved or breathed. And I woke up when he got up this morning, which means I got very little sleep last night. Right now I’m exhausted, amped, and too freaked out and uncomfortable to be able to sit in a chair for hours on end (which is why I’m not at work yet). I’m just waiting for this little episode to pass.

I gave my dad the Jeep so he could go run some errands in town.

I’ve had three or four super scary waves of this stupid hormonal shit so far today; it’s awful. I know intellectually that all these symptoms are the same ones they always are, that I’m going to be just fine… but there are moments, at the height of another adrenaline dump into the old bloodstream, that I feel like I must be dying.

It’s so stupid. I feel pathetic. My heart is POUNDING and I’m way over-oxygenated. I wish I could convince my body to stop doing this, but the things that usually work aren’t working so far today… yet. I’ve done sun salutes, this Nine Pillars meditation thing, japa, water, breakfast, and an extended-release St. John’s Wort capsule. I should be back on an even keel ANY TIME NOW.

I’m off to try and meditate… again. I hope this smooths out so I can GO TO MY DAY JOB. I want to fucking cry. I know intellectually that my glands are freaking out and telling my body all kinds of crazy lies, and this is causing the rapid heart rate, panting, sweating, dizziness, fear, shaking, and random pains, but I FEEL like I’m fucking dying of a heart attack. I’m tired, nervous, and I feel guilty that I’m not where I’m supposed to be, even though I know I couldn’t stay there even if I went – I’d have to leave my desk every 15 minutes and pace around the block.

Waaah!

I occasionally tell people that this condition is the result of living wrong for so long, because that sounds more interesting than just being a big dork. Ah, if only I had been that coke whore I always wanted to be!
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My God, I’m cheese puff. Weirdly accurate, this Snack Food Chinese Zodiac.

CD Pre-Release:

“Please join Jonas Magram, Greg Wadsworth, Kevin Farley, George Foster, Tim Britton, Givan Tichy, and Michelle Mook for the CD Pre-Release party for Shirdibhai and Seventh Ray’s ‘Dancing in the Light.’

“The show is this Saturday night, April 30, 8:00 p.m. at Cafe Paradiso.

“The party will include a single-set performance of our about-to-be-released CD, including all original songs.

“Proceeds from the requested $7.00 door charge will benefit the Women and Children’s Crisis Center of Ottumwa.”

Recently typed into search engines worldwide and bringing y’all to this site:

ttc blinkies – wisbar advance skins – weather panel – ipod audiobooks – naked women – free fuck pics – morning person night person – pocket pussy – matrix sloka – where to buy ebooks – porn for women – ipod diagnostics.

(I’m almost wondering if I shouldn’t maybe add a little porn, for all those poor people who come here expecting more than just my atrocious language!)

Finally, professional quality podcasts worth listening to: “The BBC is making 20 more radio shows available for listeners to download onto their digital music players.”

I get the impression my dad’s bored to death. He’s already fixed a pair of Apple headphones, the Xbox, and the old (non-slim) PS2. He even took a look at Bucket’s unressurectable digital camera.

Friday night he wanted to do something and offered to take us out to dinner. We took him to Mt. Hamill. He wondered why anyone would drive forty minutes for fried chicken… until he had some. He loved the chicken – even bought a whole one to go after we finished eating! It was a total riot. He wants to go back. (Having a trendy eating disorder myself, I eschewed the chicken and had several cocktails with my salad bar. It’s my opinion that chickens are too fucking stupid to eat anyway.)

Saturday I took dear ol’ bored dad into town with me when I went to buy some yarn. We went to the At Home Store and Wal-mart. (I bought yarn to make another pair of Fuzzyfeet and was looking for some Bernat Softee Baby for some volunteer ICU knitting I’m going to be doing, but they only had one skein.) (Look, I even posted this on Iowa Chicks Knitting so it’s legit – I’m knitting stuff, goddamnit!!!)

We visited Revelations so dad could get some used books – naturally he bitched about the prices, as if I could do anything about it, but that’s just how he is. Snort!

I took a nice nap Saturday afternoon, then got up and went to my satsang’s Tsunami fundraiser/auction dinner, where I gorged on yummy Indian food and hugged lots of people. I sat with Greg to eat, since he’d gotten up and lost his chair where his kids were and Christina was in seva mode so he had no date. He told me about his recent Mexico City trip and was a wonderful dinner companion. After eating I did some late-comer serving in the kitchen and a little cleaning up; then I sat and chatted with Puffer and Rosie for quite awhile. (Puffer was in a fabulous lime green jacket of wide cord, with matching jeans. Kids love him because he’s so brightly dressed all the time; it’s a riot.) The was so much food left over that Vaju made me take a plate home “for my husband,” but I ate it for lunch today because Brett doesn’t actually like Indian food.

Tahmi was supposed to be my auction dinner date, but she’s been felled by the flu or something. She sounded like hell when she called me yesteday, the poor dear.

I stopped by The Dew Drop on my way home to collect my dad’s reading glasses – he’d left them there the night before. When I got home, my beloved was miraculously still awake. So. Well. *giggle* Suffice it to say I didn’t get to sleep for awhile!

…actually, I didn’t make it to sleep at all. After an hour of listening to his deep and restful breathing I gave in and got up. I read for awhile, got on the computer, and in general futzed around until I was finally sleepy. (I’d had two cups of chai at the dinner – my first caffeine in over a week – so it was my own damn fault I didn’t get to sleep until three. Hurumph.)

Today I slept way the hell in, then woke up and got preemie booties and Fuzzyfeet on some knitting needles, and then rode with my dad and Brett to town on Brett’s errands.

Now I’m just avoiding folding laundry and finishing the dishes by blogging. I remember telling someone yesterday, “I’m so blogging about this!” but now I don’t remember what “this” was. Snort!

My mom had a word for an emotional state that I’ve always thought should be part of our regular lexicon.

The word is BUNKY.

Bunky is the way you feel on a dreary, rainy day. Or the way you feel after you wake up from a deep afternoon nap. Or when you’re just feeling inward and quiet.

I have no idea where she got this word, whether she made it up herself or learned it from her own mother.

It’s rainy out today, and dreary. And I’m at work (because Buzz is at the hospital with his mom and someone needed to be here to answer phones and coordinate truckrolls for various customers reporting trouble) and I’d much rather be home with some incense burning and the dryer running and warming things up.

I’m feeling very bunky today.