We’re really interested in Chicago, but are pretty sure a move there would plunge us into unrelenting debt for the rest of our lives. Unless I could find work there … which is more likely than me finding work here. Maybe. We’ve thought about trying to sell almost everything we have … but the thought of starting over at 41 is paralyzing sometimes. Part of me just wants a garden and to be able to cook dinner every night and not have to fight public transportation or ever shovel snow again. And part of me is screaming I’m too young to be in this bumblefuck town. For the last year, I have been horribly, horribly conflicted. I don’t even know what would make me happy. I’m terrified of staying; I’m terrified of leaving. I have anxiety almost every day over the “life is for being happy, NO! life is for being responsible” conundrum. It’s impossible to know what to do. I have always gone with my gut, and it’s worked out every time. But for some reason, and maybe it’s just this miserable economy, I’m not getting a clear signal from the universe via my visceral antenna. Husband and I are going to road trip this summer. See what we think. I don’t know if we’ll come back any smarter, but I know he’s jonesing for a change. I think we’re both tired of owning a house and all the effort we have to put into that. It’s an old place, and something is always going wrong and costing bucks. Sometimes I think I’d rather throw rent at someone else and not have the hassles. Garden in containers. (I know that sounds like a complaint – it’s really not; I’m grateful for my house but sometimes…) I would love to get to a place in life where I’m happy no matter where I am. Part of me knows happiness is not about location. But that part of me doesn’t talk to the other personality that wants museums and music and fabulous dining and tons of new friends. This shit is HARD. I completely feel your relocation pain. It may be a Libra thing, but I think it’s more a 41 thing.

OMG, don’t even get me started. Home ownership sucks, IMO. I hated being a home owner. It’s expensive, and if your house isn’t brand fucking new it’s a constant pain in the arse keeping things working. Eff that! I don’t like to tinker with stuff in that way, no sir, not at all. And on the other hand, happiness is very much about location. I really don’t like shoveling snow. -m

I love you. -m

Yeah. It was on about four Cobalt RAQ servers when I worked at LISCO. They actually still host DNS to this day. *blush* -m

Thank you. Nine more years! -m

I could probably get one. It’s just that I need professional head shots and professional video with professional sound in order to apply. *sigh* -m

Yeah, this hasn’t been terribly helpful, I know, but I’m kinda floundering in self doubt and confusion myself most of the time recently, so who the hell am I to offer any advice anyway?

Best o’Luck.

HUGS…

Well, close to you isn’t hardly a deterrent. The movie marathons we could enjoy! …Yeah. Floundering. -m

T’anks! -m

Happy 9th Birthday I look forward to many more years of teh ‘box.

*smooches*

I did! *smooches* -m

Yay! -m