On bad sex.

January 28th, 2018 | Posted by Mush in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

In which, well, why don’t we just stop having it?

Another angry hot-take about how bad sex is always the man’s fault:

On the Ansari/#metoo front, nobody seems to be willing to say that maybe, just maybe, women don’t typically enjoy meaningless sexual encounters.

It’s the elephant in the room. Because clearly, we don’t. We have millions of testimonials that prove that we just… don’t.

If #metoo tells us anything, it’s not that men are pigs. It’s that sexual encounters are distressing to women more often than not. Because the vast majority of these stories are not about legal harassment or assault or abuse, they’re stories about unfulfilling hookups, catcalls, and bad sex.

There’s an implication that (most straight) women want and enjoy sex on the same terms (most straight) men do, which is to say: sex that is contextless and meaningless. But clearly, we don’t.

I suspect this is what we really need to be talking about.

And yet, all we get are hot-takes about how men are creeps for taking the sex we’re deliberately giving them, because we’re victims of the patriarchy and have no agency.

It’s somehow not our fault when the sex we enter into willingly is bad and we don’t stop it. (And, per the article, this mysteriously has something to do with uncomfortable fashion, which we literally create and perpetuate ourselves, and endometriosis, which, as far as I know, men don’t actually cause.)

Nobody’s saying, ‘Oh, hey, look, women apparently aren’t liking random sexual encounters, maybe let’s talk about how to enable ourselves to stop having them, rather than blaming men.’

And I think someone should.

Maybe we should say, ‘You’re not frigid if you don’t want to have sex under conditions unfavorable to your needs.’ Maybe we should say, ‘Many men are capable of liking mediocre sex with no real emotional context and it’s okay if you don’t.’ Maybe we should say, ‘You can be a fully authentic woman without having context-free sexual encounters you don’t enjoy.’ Maybe we could say, ‘Fucking around isn’t feminism.’

Maybe we could say, ‘While gender may be a spectrum, there are actual verifiable differences between the sexes that inform motivation and behavior and even sexual enjoyment parameters, and acknowledging these facts can be done intelligently and in a celebratory fashion without resorting to blaming men for taking what you’re giving to them.’

(I can’t speak to the pain topic; I don’t find sex painful, beyond a few random experiences that I immediately halted. I do realize it’s a real issue for many, though.)

What’s wrong with ‘Westworld.’

November 4th, 2016 | Posted by Mush in Uncategorized - (2 Comments)

In which I keep lecturing people about what’s wrong with this show and they don’t want to hear it, so I’m going to blog it for my own amusement!

I’ve heard it’s possible that HBO will lock in as many as five seasons of ‘Westworld,’ an episodic TV reboot of the 1973 movie of the same name.

Five seasons of this? It’s well-acted and well shot, but it’s rife with fail. In the opening credits you see the creation of biologically printed robots; in the show itself you see technicians pulling rubbery skin onto metal skeletons. Which is it? Are they biological or mechanical, or both?

And how does keeping humanoid robots so life-like they look exactly like humans naked help to dehumanize them to the staff, rather than merely degrade them like prisoners or slaves?

The plot itself is interesting… if you like sappy, emotional Westerns with no science fiction whatsoever, and only a mere nod to game-playing in the “hidden level” sub-plot followed by Ed Harris’ Man In Black character.

All these robots can pass the Turing test, but they’re fodder for human guests to fuck and fight and maim and rape and kill. They bleed. They appear to understand freedom enough to want it. The whole show is gratuitous violence and weepy scenes of robot subjugation. It fails spectacularly to do what sci-fi does best, which is ask important questions:

If you can build robots so subtle they can pass as human, are they human?

What is consciousness?

Where’s the line between a very convincing machine and a self-aware AI? How do you design a test to find it?

Is it moral to build a device, giving it the capacity to feel and understand pain, just so you can hurt it?

Is what they feel actually pain, when they’re just robots? Can they feel, as we define feeling, or is it all programming designed to mimic feeling? How can anybody tell the difference?

Words

September 28th, 2015 | Posted by Mush in Uncategorized - (Comments Off on Words)

In which there are verses.

O foremost of men, listen to the merits and demerits, as we indicate,
that respectively arise from associating with what is good and what is bad.
As cloth, water, sesame-seeds and ground are perfumed by their association with flowers,
so qualities are derived from association.

Association with the fools produces delusion,
as daily association with the honest and good produces virtue.
Therefore those who are virtuously inclined should associate with men
who are wise, old, honest, and pure in conduct and who are ascetics.

We get sin by serving the sinful,
conversation and association with them, cause diminution of virtue.

Association with the mean and the low,
makes one’s understanding mean and low;
Association with the indifferent makes it indifferent, and
association with the good makes it good.

— Aranyaka Parva, Vana Parva, Mahabharata Book iii.1

Thousand causes of grief and hundred causes of fear overwhelm the ignorant day after day, but not the learned.
Intelligent men never allow themselves to be deluded by acts which are opposed to true knowledge, which is fraught with every kind of evil, and which is destructive of salvation.

This world is afflicted with both bodily and mental sufferings,
Disease, contact with painful things, toil and want of objects desired — these are the four causes ef the sufferings of the body,
Disease may be allayed by the application of medicine, but mental ailments are cured by Yoga meditation.

As a hot iron ball makes the water of a jar hot, so mental grief brings bodily pains,
As water quenches fire, so knowledge allays mental ailments,
When mind enjoys peace, body also enjoys peace.

Attachment is the root of all misery and of all fear. Attachment produces joy and grief of every kind,
From attachment spring all worldly desires, and it is from attachment that springs the love of worldly goods,
The man that is influenced by attachment is tortured by desire, and from the desire that springs up in his heart, his thirst for worldly possessions increases.

This thirst is sinful, and is regarded as the source of all anxieties.
To many men, the wealth they possess is their bane. The man, who sees happiness in wealth and becomes attached to it, knows not what true happiness is.

— Aranyaka Parva, Vana Parva, Mahabharata Book iii.2

Forgiveness is virtue; forgiveness is sacrifice, forgiveness is the Vedas, forgiveness is the Shruti. He that knoweth this is capable of forgiving everything. Forgiveness is Brahma; forgiveness is truth; forgiveness is stored ascetic merit; forgiveness protecteth the ascetic merit of the future; forgiveness is asceticism; forgiveness is holiness; and by forgiveness is it that the universe is held together.

— Kashyapa quoted in Arjunabhigamana Parva, Vana Parva, Mahabharata Book iii.29

Righteousness and unrighteousness, pleasure and pain are purely of the mind and are no concern of yours. You are neither the doer nor the reaper of the consequences, so you are always free.

You are the one witness of everything and are always completely free. The cause of your bondage is that you see the witness as something other than this.

— Ashtavakra Gita 1.6-1.7

The contract is broken

September 24th, 2015 | Posted by Mush in Uncategorized - (Comments Off on The contract is broken)

In which job hunting is pissing me off, or maybe bumming me out, or both.

I get these emails with exclamation points in them from various temp agencies — well, there don’t really seem to be any temp agencies anymore as much as recruiters — telling me about jobs I may be suitable for! When I reply or go to the listing, it invariably turns out to be temporary full-time work outside of the city doing something mindless and repetitive, like scanning documents eight hours a day for three months.

Not that I wouldn’t scan documents eight hours a day for three months — now that I’ve done warehouse retail, I’d do anything, no matter how soul-killingly dull, in an office setting and be grateful — but business seems to have left the city center, where I now live, and is now located in a giant ring outside the metro. You basically can’t get to Plymouth by bus, and the places you can get to are an hour away even though it’s only a few miles.

Eight hour day plus lunch plus two hour commute; pay is eleven bucks an hour because the agency gets its money off the top. So nearly 12-hour days, 5 days a week, for a quarter of a year: less than five grand, after taxes. AND the work sucks, too!

I applied for a tech job at a downtown bank. HR replied, we chatted on the phone, it sounded like a good fit… then I found out they were moving in January, leaving their iconic tower downtown for some cheaper, newer, roomier digs in a suburb I can’t reasonably commute to.

“Kelly Services is currently hiring for 40+ Call Center Customer Service Reps in Plymouth!” Ah, Plymouth, the bus-less suburb I spent an hour in, in a pantsuit, getting rained on; the suburb I took a cab home from, a cab that cost nearly fifty bucks.

Downtown jobs are mainly food service. Selling lunches and after-work cocktails to the recruiters and retail workers who haven’t yet been relocated to Eden Prairie.

My rants about entry-level part-time work, with shitty hours and pay so low workers have to be subsidized by someone or something in order to survive aside, it’s just bafflingly difficult to find work even in a city said to have a healthy job market. And then yesterday I rediscovered Amazon Mechanical Turk, a site where you can get work crowdsourced for really cheap.

The people doing the work are making five bucks an hour or less. They do it, a lot of them, according to news articles, as a time-killer, something to do in lieu of video games or television. The demographics show that most Turks are educated Americans, and yet they’re willing to do low-quality work for almost no pay.

Some of the jobs pay a penny each and take several minutes to complete, jobs like typing up grocery receipts (which makes no sense at all, when you could scan and OCR that shit instantly, but maybe at these artificially low rates it’s cheaper to have people do it than it is to buy software).

Estimates of what workers can earn on these crowdsourced tasks range from about $1.20 to $5 an hour without any benefits. Employers treat them as independent contractors not covered by federal minimum-wage legislation. A standard terms-of-use agreement gives employers the freedom to reject an employee’s work on any grounds; workers (oops, I mean contractors) have no easy recourse.

Amazon’s built this entire reality in which work that only humans can do is distributed and done by a massive hoard of university-educated, computer-owning Americans… for a non-living wage. I couldn’t figure it out until I signed up myself, figuring if I can’t get a real job and I’m online all day anyway, might as well make twenty bucks a day rather than none.

It’s there and it’s robust because it’s better than nothing. Same with Leapforce and oDesk and so many other so-called crowdsourced marketplaces. More workers than work, all the workers are “contractors” and so receive zero benefits or rights, the employers can take finished work and reject it but keep it anyway without paying for it… and the pay. Oh my God, the pay is less than half minimum wage. It’s between $1.20 and $5.00 an hour. I’ve been scouring blogs and forums and nobody claims to be making more than $500 a month, and those people are working all the time.

And yet millions of people are doing it. And idiots like this retard think it’s because they love it?

His entire premise is that because people can be seen to be doing a thing, in this case taking slave wages, that they love it, they enjoy it, they’re “perfectly happy” about it.

It takes only a few minutes of searching and reading blogs and forums to find out that nobody who has ever worked for Mechanical Turk or Leapforce or similar have loved it, nor were they ever “perfectly happy.” There is zero evidence that anybody “loves” these jobs; only evidence that people have been grateful for them because that extra $14 was the difference between life and homelessness.

Seriously: how fucking precarious is your life when FOURTEEN DOLLARS makes a difference?!

They do it because they’re un- or underemployed and desperate, or because they’re disabled and need money and have literally no other way to get any, or because they’re the sorts of personalities who would rather earn change while fucking around online than not. Nobody LIKES being underpaid, nobody LIKES having no worker protections and no recourse, nobody LIKES being exploited.

And yet there appear to be no jobs of the sort I stupidly thought I could find: jobs like my last one at the newspaper. Part-time, reasonable hours, reasonable commute, reasonable pay. A decent balance. I gave my employer something it needed, it gave me something I needed. Win/win.

Not any more. I can go out, take a job at a grocery store or a restaurant and make nine or ten bucks an hour, deal with shitty and random schedules and working every holiday and commuting on buses during blizzards. Or I can stay home and do intellectually complex work and earn even less?!?! As a “contractor” who is not a contractor and whose employer — excuse me, “client” — is breaking the law because it just doesn’t give a fuck?

Companies have become immoral. There’s no social contract. Most workers are being subsidized by entities that are not their employers: families, friends, EBT, Medicaid. No one can earn such wages and survive without additional money from the government or other people, and so many people work these jobs.

So you’re either the car-driving, full-time job with benefits-having worker, or you’re everybody else. And if you’re the former, YOU’RE subsidizing the rest of us, and by extension the shitheads we work for. Those of you with holidays off, paid vacation and sick time, regular hours, HVAC and indoor plumbing: your “cushy” jobs are literally and directly making money for Walmart and Amazon Mechanical Turk, because your taxes are going toward our EBT cards.

Last year, my partner subsidized The Home Depot for 14 months. I worked my ass off in there; it was probably one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had. They paid me a non-living wage and gave me shitty schedules; my partner drove me to work at 5:45 in the morning and bought me groceries so that Craig Menear could take home three hundred times my income every month. That asshole’s bonuses were paid for by my boyfriend.

This is untenable. This is why the middle class is disappearing: directly and literally because of corporate greed and lack of responsibility. Yes, market factors are there, sure, inflation plays a part, whatever, but the bottom line is that corporations and businesses have abdicated their responsibility.

FUCK Citizens United.

The argument over the minimum wage

September 11th, 2015 | Posted by Mush in Uncategorized - (Comments Off on The argument over the minimum wage)

In which I complain for a long time about not being able to find a job I want (i.e. that doesn’t suck in pay or hours or location). Also, the right still believes in (the thoroughly debunked) trickle-down theory and it utterly baffles my mind.

The decent little part-time office job continues to just not exist anywhere at all ever.

The ethnic restaurant in Midtown Global Market didn’t hire me. I know the exact point in the interview in which the owner decided against me, but I don’t know why he decided that way. Anybody who can shower without drowning can work in a restaurant, so they hire on personality fit more than skill. I must have said something he didn’t like, but I’m not sure how answering “Do you have kids?” with “No, we have an avocado plant. It’s exactly the same thing as raising a child” ruined his interest in me as a team member. It was funny and self-deprecating. Maybe everybody else he employs has toddlers; who knows.

Hardly matters. It was a part-time, low-paying job that would have promised plenty of hard work for low reward. (I’ve worked for charismatic entrepreneur-run very small businesses before, and typically, employees are supposed to be totally gung ho about growing the entrepreneur’s businesses without much more in return than token thanks — usually in the form of an annual holiday party and a few cheap gifts. You enthusiastically protect and increase their net worth; they give you a fifty dollar Christmas bonus… and lay you off four months later when the economy gets tough because you’re just an employee. The loyalty of businesses toward their employees is dead, and has been for most of my working years.)

I don’t really want to work a minimum wage food service job in the first place, really, but since there’s no such thing as a part-time office gig anymore I thought at least it would be nice to work somewhere that looked cool and where I could dress comfortably. Those sorts of intangibles can make taking a low wage a lot easier.

So the job search continues. I’ll apply for anything I can get to in less than an hour, at this point, because I’d like to get employed and settled into the new job before blizzard season arrives. To this end I have an interview at a BP tomorrow, so as soon as I hung up the phone with the guy who scheduled the meeting I checked glassceiling.com:

salaries

Aw shit. They pay minimum wage. Great. Now I don’t want to go to the interview, even though the following are true:

  1. I need to find a job before I run out of pin money
  2. I’ve been a convenience store clerk in the past and enjoyed it
  3. I’m not too proud to be a convenience store clerk, even at my age
  4. The guy on the phone sounded like he’d be pleasant to work for

And yet, weirdly enough, in spite of all that, I find I have no desire to go bust my ass for a multi-national corporation for nine bucks an hour. (Minnesota raised its minimum wage in July.) Nine bucks an hour at full time is a yearly income of $18,720 before taxes and social security and insurance.

Or $15,646.94 take-home, after Federal taxes. Even less after sales and state tax. Nobody could possibly find this to be adequate compensation for full-time work.

Especially when, for eighteen grand a year, the typical gas station convenience store clerk is supposed to, typically, spend 40 hours each week on her feet cleaning, stocking, lifting up to fifty pounds, and accepting and internalizing bullshit company standards about service and enthusiasm and the company’s culture. She’s supposed to love her employer, she’s supposed to go the extra mile at any and every opportunity, she’s supposed to take pride in her work.

She’s supposed to do this even though her employer blatantly and institutionally does not give a flying fuck about her, refusing her every benefit that could possibly earn her loyalty, from decent scheduling to maternity leave to a reasonable expectation of job security.

Meanwhile, even though she has a full-time job, she can’t afford housing, food, or clothing, let alone vacation travel. She can’t afford routine dental care or glasses. She has little or no control over her work schedule, so her life is never her own and getting a second job is unreasonably difficult. (You try scheduling anything for next month when your schedule is only posted two weeks in advance.) She gets scheduled to work every major and minor holiday. She may be routinely expected to work unscheduled overtime to ‘help out’ an employer who is understaffed due to turnover, the very same employer who can’t be arsed to provide a job decent enough to reduce turnover so she doesn’t have to.

For eighteen fucking thousand dollars a year.

Oh, wait, that was my last job I just described. I’ve never actually worked for BP. They paid a dollar over minimum wage, so that’s actually twenty grand a year before taxes.

The 2015 poverty level, by the way, is $11,770, which is the level at which you’re homeless and starving and aren’t going to stay employed anyway because people who can’t shower can’t keep their jobs.

Why would anyone want to do that? Why would a kid right out of college, with sixty grand in student loan debts, ever take such a job? Why would a middle aged and experienced worker ever take such a job?

In a sane world, they wouldn’t. And it’s not because they’re lazy or because they’re too proud, it’s because this sort of job is entry level and shitty. Like working at McDonald’s below the management level, it’s a job that’s “supposed” to be for kids.

We’re a nation of low-paying kids’ jobs. Middle class jobs for college educated non-specialists are becoming fewer and farther between. And industry, bizarrely, is blaming its thousands of unfilled jobs on the workers, saying they’re unskilled or lazy, rather than on the fact that its jobs are shitty and don’t pay a living wage.

Because wanting a living wage, wanting to get some benefit from dedicating yourself to a company, is the same as being unskilled or lazy?

And yet you’ll notice that when you go to BP, or The Home Depot or Target or the grocery store, that a lot of these shitty, low-paying, entry-level jobs with long hours are filled by middle aged people. Because they’re not too proud to work shitty jobs. They’re not on SNAP because they’re lazy, they’re on SNAP because industry doesn’t fucking pay employees appropriately for their work. Period.

I’ve been looking for a part-time office gig for five years now and I’ve had exactly one, and even that I got by accident. Nobody can afford part-time office help to come in and do the filing (or the social networking, because there’s not as much filing these days). The rare part-time office job is temporary and handled by agencies, who skim three bucks off the top for their overhead and make a $12 per hour gig into a $9 one.

(I’m registered with at least four agencies and get a lot of emails. The pay rates are shocking. They want people to go work three twelve-hour days an hour’s drive away to inventory a warehouse, but the pay is minimum wage. They want temp skilled office work for a lawyer’s office, but the pay is two bucks an hour over minimum wage. If you’re required to possess a skill and wear a suit to work, you should be earning enough money to be able to afford to buy yourself lunch, shouldn’t you? I mean, is that somehow an unreasonable expectation?)

No. And yet every time a state increases minimum wage, there are Chicken Little articles about how restaurants are struggling because they can’t afford to pay crap wages and stay in business! We can’t make these honorable, entrepreneurial Americans pay more than they can afford!

Crickets from Walmart, BP, The Home Depot, McDonald’s. It’s always a few small restaurants and some version of “The sky is falling!” in these articles, even though it’s obvious this legislation is not about small restaurants, it’s about massive corporations who prey on the working class through wage theft… not because they have to, but merely because they can.

“The left claims they’re for American workers, and they’ve got lame ideas, things like minimum wage,” Walker said during an interview with Fox News. “We need to talk about how we get people skills and qualifications they need to get jobs that go beyond minimum wage.”

Minnesota’s minimum wage rises to $9 per hour

But people do have skills. I have the skills and the qualifications. So does my cousin Paul, who spent several years out of work. So do millions of Americans. It’s not that the workforce is wholly underqualified, it’s that the jobs suck so much and pay so little and are so demeaning that you avoid them if you possibly can, because you’re not a kid looking for a summer job, you’re an adult with a family to provide for.

Not to mention that if you’re an older, skilled worker post-layoff, accepting a minimum wage Amazon warehouse job ruins your unemployment eligibility and your résumé. You literally can’t afford to take such a job.

A friend of mine told me today she’d heard that warehouse jobs were going unfilled because, according to industry, ‘Millennials lack a decent work ethic.’ But I think the truth is that kids don’t work those jobs anymore. People like me work those jobs, and we’re not applying for them because they suck. The conditions are crap, the security is crap, the hours are crap, the endless corporate rhetoric is embarrassing, and to add insult to injury, the pay is crap.

It’s not that people are too lazy or too proud to work these jobs, it’s that the jobs aren’t jobs anymore. A job is a contract between an individual and a company in which the individual earns money for work. The majority of current jobs, though, are relationships in which the individual agrees to act as slave labor, giving up time, comfort, pride, and the ability to support herself, in order to make rich people richer. The contract between the worker and the company is broken.

At THD, there was an emergency fund for employees. Heart attack and under-insured? The fund will help you out. House burned to the ground? The fund will help you out. Super awesome idea, really humane. The kicker, though: the fund itself was filled by employees, not the company. People making ten bucks an hour — myself included — donating a few bucks per paycheck to help each other out in times of need, not the billions-of-dollars-per-year corporation they were working for. Because the contract between the worker and the company is broken.

Companies exist to make money. Employees are replaceable machine cogs. That’s the bottom line.

Do I want to work in food service for minimum wage? No. Do I want to work at a gas station for minimum wage? No. I don’t want to work anywhere for minimum wage, and I especially don’t want to do it AND suffer random scheduling and sore feet while having to spew bullshit from training videos (that nobody could possibly ever truly mean) to actual human being customers.

But I will, because as far as I can tell unless I’m willing to saddle myself with a full-time career-oriented job and a car, there’s no other option. And I’ll rage against it every single day, because the inhumanity and greed of it all disgusts me.

Seriously, all I want is a decent little part-time job. Decent hours, decent pay, decent commute. When did this become too much to ask?

Birthday

September 30th, 2014 | Posted by Mush in Uncategorized - (1 Comments)

In which I’m another year older.

Yesterday was my birthday.

My beloved bought me a laptop,

I bought myself a skin for my Kindle Fire tablet so now it looks all burlwood and excellent,

and my dad, who is in town for a week, bought dinner!

I also chatted with a friend who just took a promotion at Comcast and said he might have a QA telecommuting job for me in a month or two, which means I might just be spared having to walk to work this winter. Which would be amazing. Although I would probably have to fly to Denver.

I also bought myself a package of socks. Because most of my socks have holes in them, and I live in Minnesota, and winter is coming. In fact, it’s not even cool outside, it’s cold. I’m not even kidding you. WINTER IS COMING, BITCHES.

Although, in Minneapolis’ defense, the summer was pretty lovely. We only turned the A/C on a handful of times, and that was generally for humidity more than heat. So maybe the winter won’t be that bad?

HA HA HA. I LAUGH AT MYSELF.

In which I don’t quite believe what I’ve done.

We bought the plane ticket six weeks ago, because without a set date I knew I’d never get anything done. But I met my goal admirably, even down to guessing correctly how many boxes it would take. (Twenty. Slightly under four hundred pounds.) The goal was to ship five boxes every Friday, which happened twice, but the final half got shipped a couple of days apart during my last few days in Walla Walla.

Room

My flight left at two on Wednesday, so I got up, ate, finished packing, dusted and vacuumed. Off to the airport at a quarter to one.

Had a two-and-a-half hour layover in Seattle, but I needed it because my discount ticket didn’t include baggage transfer. So I had to get off the plane, exit to baggage claim, retrieve my suitcase and take it to the Sun Country counter, check it AGAIN (and pay another goddamned $25 bag fee), and then re-enter through TSA.

It was stupid and cost fifty bucks. But this helped:

And so did the one after it.

Then I flew to MSP and the cutest boy in the world was there to pick me up and drive me home in, well, this:

Thursday we spent lying around and cuddling, then we went out for Mexican food and a trip to Target for kitchen implements. They didn’t have rotary egg beaters, but I did finally get a dish drainer! (I bugged him about not having one constantly when I was here in December.)

Friday, he had to go to work, so I spent the day cleaning and organizing and unpacking and in general settling in. I have my own kitchen for the first time in eight or nine years, so I put the pots and pans exactly where I wanted to. It was awesome! The poor man can’t find a thing, but that’s his problem.

This — plus four more boxes, not yet arrived — is all I have left to unpack:

We’re going to need some shelves. And a dresser. And possibly more shelves.

Spring is coming

February 13th, 2014 | Posted by Mush in Uncategorized - (Comments Off on Spring is coming)

In which there is support.

After months of wearing the same bra to work every day, I finally bought another. Progress, people, progress! I also bought some fantastic bootleg yoga pants, a top to match, and half a dozen boxes of incense, but it’s really the bra that matters.

. .. … .. .
I bought LDBF a V-day gift but it hasn’t arrived. I expected it in time to wrap it and sign the card and ship it off so he could have it tomorrow, but no such luck. Damn you, winter weather!

. .. … .. .
Immediately after I told my band leader that was going to move away in a few months, he started phasing me out of the band.

He’s not offering me any new gigs, and he’s told me I’ll only be on stage for half the Kings’ set at the guitar festival this year.

I almost feel like I shouldn’t have bothered being responsible, and just quit without notice. At least that way I wouldn’t be sitting around for a quarter of a year just to do a half-hour gig.

Oh, well. Bands. What can you do.

. .. … .. .
Being in love is awesome.

Being in love with your best friend is seriously fucking awesome.

Being two thousand miles apart has its issues, of course, but with Facebook chat and cell phone texts it’s much better than any previous iteration of the epistolary romance.

And Skype makes it even more bearable. I can hear him when he rustles around in his kitchen making nachos. We sometimes sit in silence doing our own thing — me reading or knitting, he checking email or playing a game — with occasional snippets of conversation, and I can glance up and see him whenever I want.

I know he’s a boy because he watches MMA, but he also watches BBC period murder mysteries with me and enjoys them. Last night we watched a couple episodes of Murder, She Wrote together, at his suggestion. (How awesome is that?) He sits there in his living room, I sit in my bedroom, we agree on a show, and hit play. I can hear him laugh if something amuses him. It’s very much like actually being together.

I see him for a few minutes in the mornings before work, and we hang out most every evening until bedtime. We chat, we ignore each other, we can see each other nap sometimes. It’s an entire relationship! Only without the cuddling!

. .. … .. .
The weather broke and it’s sunny, breezy, and 51F today. I’m not wearing three layers of clothes!

I’m pretty sure winter will return at least once more before it’s officially spring here in the valley, but today? Is lovely.

. .. … .. .
I did my taxes last night. I made only seventeen grand last year, but I’m only getting a couple hundred bucks back!

I want a tax break for riding a bike. I want a tax break for not owning a car at all.

I don’t mind paying taxes, really, I just want MOAR REFUND PLS.

Hello world!

January 4th, 2012 | Posted by Mush in Uncategorized - (Comments Off on Hello world!)

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!