In which I selflessly offer these observations to the innerwebs for science!

On alcohol, blood sugar, and adipose tissue:

Step 1. Drink alcohol literally every day for months on end.
Step 2. Get the flu and stop drinking ’cause you’re sick.
Step 3. Gain two inches around your waist without otherwise changing your diet.

On low-level infection and the ability to fight disease:

Step 1. Have the kind of mouth that requires prophy every four months just to keep your gums from receding and your teeth from falling out.
Step 2. Lose your job and don’t go to the dentist for a very long time.
Step 3. Get the flu. Get it again. Get it again.
Step 4. Get your teeth cleaned.
Step 5. Notice that your lingering flu symptoms are completely gone within hours.