goblinbox

So. My vacation.

I don’t know how to write about it. There was the surface stuff, i.e., We went out for sushi. And the non-personal stuff, i.e., I only slept 7.5 hours during the first three days. But so much of it was internal, interior. One doesn’t just go see her satguru and come back the same, you know?

One also doesn’t just say in public that her personal Jesus is alive and in the middle of a world tour, with a three-day break to visit the world parliament of religions thank you very much. It just isn’t done. Budda, Christ, they’re fine – safely dead thousands of years. But to admit someone a thousand years dead was cool is very different from someone “in this day and age!” wandering around being clearly better than the rest of us.

So I haven’t posted on my blog yet about my vacation, which was specifically and entirely for and about seeing Mother for as many minutes as I could.

Hmm.

The most important thing in my life, and I don’t even write an entry about it?

If you’ve ever seen a site run by Movabletype (uh, like the one you’re reading now), you’re probably familiar with the famous folks who built it? Anyhow, I was reading a post in Mena’s blog in which she talks about blogging “through the responsible lens of emotional and personal distance,” and realized all bloggers, no matter how trivial their audience, have to deal with these issues of self-censorship: How much do I say? and Who won’t get what I do say? and Am I willing to weather the storm the non-getters may cause me?

In other words, if you really want to know about the personal (read: spiritual) part of my vacation, you may, just this once, visit my very secret blog here. It’s been up a long time but I stopped linking to it because such a small percentage of my bandwidth would ever get it… and/or I’m afraid the people who might get it might wig me out if they decided to share. My post isn’t done yet, but it will be.

If the other girls on the trip had blogs I’d point you their way too, for a three-dimensional view, but oddly they’re all blog-free… even the geekiest one among them. I think it’s weird, considering that anyone can sign up for a free TypePad or Xanga blog in about 8.6 seconds.

Or maybe not everyone is ready for this new(ish) communication: once upon a time, a communication was less confusing. Either it was for a terribly small group (the person you were talking to, or the small group you were talking to) or a terribly large one (the great American novel) and it was directional: a letter goes to the address it’s mailed to. There wasn’t this stress of not knowing who your audience was.

Blogging’s a roulette: who’ll see this entry? And when? Can I count on it that s/he won’t see it until it’s become a cold potato?

Maybe being blog-free is the best approach to blogging. But I’ve had mine for so long!
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