In which LOL HORMONES.

As you wade deeper into perimenopause, well, there are these looooong lists of exciting symptoms to experience!

I’m at least halfway through the list now, if not more, and it SUCKS and I want to complain:

Thinning hair. Skin elasticity loss. Irregular (in my case, shorter) cycles. Anxiety. Arrhythmia. Tingling extremities. Muscle aches. Fatigue. Sleep changes. Hot flashes. Weight gain.

Fuck it all! It’s unpleasant!

I’m fat and dieting no longer works for shit. Over the past decade half my hair’s fallen out and been replaced with fewer, finer strands. My skin’s saggy. I have wrinkles on the bottoms of my feet, AND the fat there has thinned, so they get sore for no reason! Sometimes they tingle like they’re in a sack of ants because of low estrogen! SOMETIMES I CAN’T SLEEP, which never, ever happened to me before, and weirds me the fuck out. Going to pee and producing only a thimbleful is incredibly annoying. Mood swings, aka walking into the kitchen to get some water and suddenly feeling suddenly and inexplicably sad. I spend lots of time just not really wanting to do much of anything, which is foreign to my extroverted personality so I always feel vaguely guilty and lazy. Fucking acne!

Hot flashes, if you’ve never had one, are fucking stupid.

Trying to be grateful I’ve lived long enough to experience all this is not working. I want to be 35 again! Shit, I’d settle for 43, even!

This sucks!

Can’t tell you how excited I am for NIGHT SWEATS.

Fuck.

In unrelated news, social media still sucks but I keep looking at it anyway.